I am stuck and at the end of my rope. I had a severe mental breakdown last year and am living in a motel off my savings. I have no friends or family to rely on. My funds are running out. I have severe anxiety about going outside. I am losing my hearing. I feel like my only option is to kill myself before my savings run out and I am put out on the street.

I am on medication for depression and am seeing a therapist, but I am still feeling stuck and hopeless. I struggle to bathe myself and haven't washed my hair in months. Can you offer any hope?

Hopeless

That you reached out to me shows that you DO have hope. People say to take one day at a time, to put one foot in front of the other, but that can seem monumental in the moment.

As you clearly have access to a computer, I strongly suggest you reach out. If you are truly feeling in crisis, PLEASE call 911 or 988. There are multiple services in this country, in every province, that can help. Housing, food, physical disabilities, such as hearing loss, and mental health support, including agoraphobia are all available to you.

And if you can’t make these calls on your own, and feel you have no one to turn to, call the motel manager. You are NOT alone, and you don’t need to suffer.

It may sound like a small thing, but for your own welfare, I strongly suggest you take a long, hot shower and wash your hair and body. It should make you feel even the slightest bit better.

Remember, once you’re through this crisis – and you will get through it – it’s important to find a therapist who can help you. Good luck!

My good friend’s mother was just diagnosed with a terrible disease that will very quickly rob her of her shining personality. My friend is beside herself with despair. She wants to eke out every minute with her mother, which is understandable, but she’s pushed everyone and everything else aside.

I can’t imagine the pain and fear that she’s feeling. She and her mother have always been very, very close. And I know that no matter how much she pushes me away at this time, I will be there for her when she’s ready. But I’m an old lifelong friend. Her other friends and her boyfriend aren’t as understanding.

How can I help her see that even in her darkest hour, she should be leaning on the people who love her? That by pushing us all away, she won’t have the support she needs when she needs it.

I’m very worried about her.

Sick Mama

Everybody behaves differently in the depths of despair, just as everyone grieves differently. Talk to your friend. Go over first thing in the morning with a hot coffee and a breakfast sandwich. Talk to her while she gets dressed. Tell her that in no uncertain terms, you are there for her. Show up even when she tells you not to.

Tell her that you’re worried about her, and, gently,  how she’s pushing everyone away. Ask her if you can speak on her behalf, even to her boyfriend.

You can also start to think about what happens when her mother passes away. In some religions, when people pass away, the funeral can occur within 24 to 48 hours, and the immediate family is inundated with decision making. They don’t have time to call everyone.

That’s when the next level of family and good friends step in. They call everyone and tell those people to call people. They order meals and call in whatever else needs to be done.

Your friend will appreciate your unwavering support and your desire to help her. She may not show it now, but she will down the road.

FEEDBACK Regarding the service dog (Jan. 19; March 19; May 19):

Reader – “I’m an avid animal lover and couldn’t let this go without a counter comment. I have a son with disabilities and if he were to have a service dog, I would never allow him to expose that dog to a situation like a concert where the music is extremely loud.

“It’s lovely that this girl has access to a service dog that helps her live a normal life. Although the dog has been ‘trained’ to go to concerts and to not freak out with the music, a dog’s ears are ultrasensitive. Being exposed to loud music can be very stressful, cause physical harm and lead to hearing loss. Allowing a dog, trained or not, to be exposed to loud concert music in my opinion amounts to abuse. If this woman has a husband who can help her at a concert, she should leave her service dog at home.”