My son may have a stalker and it’s making me uncomfortable. He’s only 15, and apparently, she’s only 14, so I’m not fearful for anything scary, but it is strange behaviour. What makes it the most strange and uncomfortable is that her parents (at least, her mother, seems to encourage it).

The kids take the same bus home from school, but he gets off two stops after her. He knows because they’ve been on the bus all year together. However, for the past two months, she stays on the bus, hopping off when he does, and following him as far as our street. The first few times she got off with a friend, so he didn’t think much of it; but now she just gets off and follows him a few paces behind.

He says he’s been stopping at our street and waiting until she passes him, making a point to say goodbye, before he starts down our block. A few weeks ago, there was a street fair in our neighbourhood, and my son and a few of his friends were talking about it on the bus. She does NOT live in this neighbourhood, but I saw her at the fair several times (I was working the BBQ), just looking for him.

And twice now we have caught her and her mother outside of our house, parked, engine off. My older daughter recognized the mom and asked if everything was OK. They gave some strange excuse and drove off.

I know her parents and I’d like to call them, but can I?

Student Stalker

You mentioned that her mother encourages the behaviour, and from your example, that does seem odd.

Here’s the tricky bit: if the genders were reversed, and your daughter was being stalked by their son, you wouldn’t have written to me and you would have already done something about the situation. You would NOT have insisted your teenage daughter handle it on her own.

So why should your son? I think you have every right as a protective parent to call her parents and discuss the situation. Especially since you say you know them personally. However innocent their daughter’s thoughts and emotions are, she’s making your son uncomfortable.

Not everyone will agree with me.

My boyfriend buys me flowers once a month on the anniversary of our first date. It’s adorable and sweet and I really appreciate the sentiment. My issue is that he buys the cheapest grocery store flowers that only last a day and don’t tend to be all that nice to look at. I know flowers can be pricey, but I also know that depending on where you purchase them, you can find much better quality for much better pricing.

I have tried to surreptitiously give him this information by buying flowers for other people and commenting on the beauty and cost. But I don’t think he’s computing because he’s still getting me the cheap ones.

I don’t want to seem ungrateful, but why not give someone something they can appreciate? What should I do?

Fleur du Jour

Stop beating around the bush. Tell your boyfriend how much you love and appreciate the gesture, but not so much the flowers themselves. Think about it like this: if he made you coffee every morning with double milk and sugar and you prefer yours black, you’d tell him. He’d want to know (he should anyway) because the point is to do something nice for you. So, by being honest, you’re, well, being honest – which is a much better way to behave in a relationship. Then he’s spending his money on something you like, and you get to receive something you’ll enjoy - instead of coffee you won’t drink.

FEEDBACK Regarding the bullying (May 7):
Reader – “As a former health care professional, this should never have happened to this patient. We can't control everything that patients say to one another, but we can step in and say something. But, more importantly, why was this emesis left in the room in the first place? The nursing staff should have removed it promptly. The staff was neglectful and this person deserved better care.”

Reader #2 – “I’m shocked that you would even print this column. There are always two sides to every story, and I don't believe you heard both sides before acknowledging you were sorry this person was bullied.

“I think you were judgmental toward the hospital staff who we know are extremely over-worked and must deal with a multitude of issues every day. Shame on you!”

Lisi – There are sides to EVERY story. I can only respond to the one I know.