We have an exercise class that requires pool use. A senior lady attends but has an extremely strong urine smell on herself, her clothing, her towel, and inside her locker. The smell is so strong that people stay as far away from her as possible. Her smell remains long after she exits.
Some people have reported the smell to the overseeing staff but were told that nothing could be done about it. I feel that this lady is in such need of help but don’t know what help is available (if there is any). I know she’s lonely because she told me when we first met, but I could never bring myself to tell her why people avoid her. Also, I begin to gag when I’m near her.
I know if it was a child, there are people to report it to. However, this woman lives in her own house, drives her own car and seems mentally fit. Please tell me if you know of someone to help.
Scent of a Senior
This is so sad! There are multiple reasons why this woman could smell of urine and not realize it. For starters, she may have a non-existent olfactory sense. Many people report having lost their sense of smell during the COVID-19 pandemic, including one of my family members. She could also suffer from parosmia, scent distortion.
Combined with this issue, she may not realize that she suffers from bladder leakage, so she wouldn’t be conscious and conscience about her odour.
Once you’re in the pool, does the smell of the chlorine compensate for the urine smell? If so, you could chat with her then. Ask her probing questions in a friendly way, whether she has a spouse, children, what else she does for fitness and entertainment, etc. You could also steer her towards the showers – a normal practice for many people after a swim in a public indoor pool.
Hopefully, by befriending her and gaining her trust, you may be able to broach the subject with her. At least, you’ll have a better sense of how she’ll take it. As awkward and embarrassing it may be for you to discuss with her, imagine how she’d feel if she knew how she smelled.
The staff could also disinfect her locker for her.
If none of that works, you could call the Community Paramedicine Program (in Toronto: 416-397-4322). This program offers home visits to check on a senior’s health and living conditions.
I am the world’s worst procrastinator. I procrastinated all through high school and even into university. I somehow managed to overcome my issues long enough to get a degree, and graduate with honours, but I find myself back to my old ways in certain areas of life.
For example, I always wait until the last minute to get gifts for people (like, last week’s Mother’s Day gift) and then I can’t get them what I want because my personally designed mug (or whatever) won’t arrive in the time I’ve allotted. I’m always either giving subpar gifts or after-the-fact gifts. I’m embarrassed for myself!
And I’m terrible at opening mail and paying bills, including utilities and credit card bills. How can I change?
Stalling Stanley
Bills are an easy fix – set up direct debits with your provider. You’ll never be late again!
With gift giving, utilize the calendar on your phone and set up reminders well in advance. Also, when you think of a great idea for a gift, especially if it’s something you need to design or personalize, get right on it. Even if it’s months’ early! Then, when it arrives, you can make sure it’s perfect. Just remember where you stash it when the occasion date arrives.
If you feel that you need a deeper dive into getting help, you could look into meeting with a time management expert or even try cognitive behavioural therapy.
FEEDBACK Regarding the found puppy (March 18):
Reader – “I would suggest contacting the local SPCA or Humane Society as well. The owner may have contacted them, to see if someone had found their puppy and brought it to them for care.”
FEEDBACK Regarding the polite family (March 19):
Reader – “A paper trail needs to be generated to protect themselves against any further false accusations. Be polite and professional, but forceful. You need to show the hotel manager that you will not be permitted to be bullied, especially based on ‘misidentification’ and ‘false accusations.’
“The other woman is a bully, and SHE needs to be shown that you and your family will NOT be bullied by her. Throw it back to the hotel manager. Participating in these false accusations will only hurt the hotel’s reputation. There are many other hotels and many other affordable sunny destinations for families to vacation during the cold winter months.”