I work with a woman who is just wound so tight, it’s scary. She’s very, very thin and I imagine it’s because she’s so anxious and nervous all the time. She’s a nice enough person, but she never smiles and her face is so tight, I can’t help but worry about her mental health. She looks like she’s going to blow at any given moment.

We were recently at a family work event together, and I was looking forward to seeing her with her family. I thought she would be more relaxed. But I watched her with her son, and she was still as tightly wound as ever. He seemingly couldn’t do anything correctly, in her mind. She would correct everything, from his posture to his manner of speech, to you name it! It was painful to watch.

I don’t know her well enough at all to have any idea what’s going on, but I feel for this woman and would love to help her. What do you suggest?

Tightly Wound

Unfortunately, I think you need to care from a distance. You don’t really know her, certainly not well enough to show concern. She could be suffering from an unhappy marriage, an illness, an issue with her child, mental health, her own health – who knows!

At work, you could gently ask if there’s anything she needs help with, or anything you can do to lighten her load as she seems stressed. You could ask her if she’d like to talk about anything, but if she declines, don’t take it personally. Hopefully, she’ll have heard you and now knows you care, but that’s as close as you can get for now.

I am a retired senior man, mid-70s. For two years I have taught voluntarily in a program for seniors and have enjoyed the experience greatly.  Presently there is a new man in our class, a retired professional, who has mobility challenges. He sits next to me and always has something worthwhile to contribute to the discussion.  After the last class, he held me on the shoulder and said I was doing a great job.

I am attracted to him, and I get the vibes that he is attracted to me. He wears a wedding ring, and I think comes from the other end of the city. I would like to get to know him better, in any way.  What do you suggest?

Sensual Senior

I suggest you ask him if he’d like to go for coffee or a meal after class one day. Hopefully, he’ll say yes and you two can talk and get to know each other. Of course, if he’s wearing a wedding ring, chances are he is in a relationship with someone. However, I have seen many a widow/widower continue to wear their wedding ring until they feel comfortable removing it. So, you never know, and you won’t know unless you get to know each other better.

But, like any relationship, take it slow and don’t come on too strong too quickly. I hope, if nothing more, you and this man strike up a lovely new friendship.

My daughter walks around the house singing at the top of her lungs. I’m thrilled that she feels confident and secure enough to be herself. The only problem is that she has a terrible voice and her singing is atrocious. My wife and sons are begging me to say something. What should I do?

Murder, She Sang

Get her a voice coach. Show an interest in her hobby. Think of her voice as any instrument. If she sat down at the piano, you’d get her lessons so her plinking could become melodic. Do the same for her singing.

FEEDBACK Regarding the memory loss (Jan. 30):
Reader – “This hit close to home, as my husband passed away recently after more than 20 years with Alzheimer's. You gave good suggestions, but in my experience, there are a few things that can make memory loss easier to endure for both the patient and the family.

“As a visitor, immediately and clearly introduce yourself, or, as a family member, introduce guests if necessary. No guessing games, they’re embarrassing and painful. Unless you’re sure they remember a certain event, don't ask ‘Do you remember …?’ Just talk about it, and if it’s clear they don't know, talk about something else.

“Letting people with memory loss talk about the past is one of the best things you can do for them. They often remember things from long ago. Let them talk about life when they were a kid or when they were working. Singing old songs is great too.”