I work with a group of women on a volunteer committee. We all have children around the same age, and we all come from similar backgrounds, which is our common thread for this organization. There are about 50 of us in total, but we’re never all working on the same thing at the same time, so there are always different people at the meetings.

By some coincidence, it seems that whatever meetings I attend, so too does one other woman. And every time we’re at a meeting, she overshares part of her life that is so unnecessary and cringy, that it’s hard to stomach. She grew up differently from many of us, and her current life is also different than many of ours. But we don’t need to know all the details.

Basically, she just overshares. But it’s embarrassing! More for us than for her, I guess, because she just doesn’t turn it off. I honestly can’t be around her and all her information anymore – but I still want to be part of this committee.

What do I do?

Oversharing

Is it possible to see a list of attendees before agreeing to any of these meetings? If so, can you avoid the ones where this woman is also going to be there? If that’s not possible, can you speak to the person who runs the meetings and simply explain the situation without naming names? If the co-ordinator knows what to listen for, they could stop “sidebar” conversations from getting too out of hand.

And if none of that works, just ignore this person. Let her words go over your head. Do your best to just tune her out.

I have a friend in another country who, on three occasions, has given me large monetary gifts. I am self-sufficient and do not need his help financially. I do appreciate his generosity, but this embarrasses me.

In order not to hurt his feelings, I have accepted the gifts and have donated them to a charitable organization.

How do I tell him that I would like him to stop?

Overly generous

If your friend is in another country, then it won’t be hard for you to address this issue through email, if you are too shy about calling him directly. Simply say that though you appreciate his generosity and thoughtfulness, you are simply not in need of his monetary gifts at this time in your life.

He may say to accept the money anyway, and once it is yours, you can do with it as you please. Or together you could discuss other options on how and where to spend his money. Perhaps he hasn’t thought about all the charitable things he could do with his extra funds.

However, if he insists on sending it to you, you could set up a fund in his name, or put it aside for your children, grandchildren, his grandchildren, etc.

I am going through menopause right now and having a terrible time. I’ve noticed you’ve given various people different answers on how to cope. What do you suggest I do?

Mary Meno

I am not in any way a menopause expert. I strongly advise that you see your doctor, discuss your symptoms, get some bloodwork done, and go from there. Every woman is different, their symptoms vary, their hormone levels vary, and what they’re looking for in terms of reprieve varies. Hormone Replacement Therapy works for some, but not everyone. There are so many factors which is why there is no one blanket solution.

Do some research on your own but talk to your doctor. They’ll be better equipped to help you.

FEEDBACK Regarding the husband whose wife is a dermatologist (Dec. 11):
Reader – “Perhaps he’s a hypochondriac about his skin disorders and she’s just fed up with it.”

Reader #2 – “His health must come before his marriage.  She should be happy that her husband’s issue got addressed in time.  (Speaking as someone diagnosed with melanoma 20 years ago).

Reader #3 – “It is my long-standing understanding that doctors are discouraged from formally treating family or anyone with whom they have a personal relationship as they may lack the necessary professional distance and accountability.

“Of course, family doctors will write a prescription, or advise on an issue, or keep an eye on a concerning health problem and escalate or refer to a colleague.

“Her complete dismissal of him is odd so they should talk. But perhaps he should say, ‘I know you can't formally treat me, but is this skin issue something I should get checked?’”