My friend’s friend just found out that her boyfriend is cheating on her. The craziest part about the whole story is that BOTH women thought he was their man, AND that he was about to propose.
My friend’s friend lived with him, in a rental home they had secured nearly six months ago. They had just adopted a puppy and were in the throes of planning a one-month hiking trip in Europe once the pup had all her shots.
Apparently, the other woman lived at home with her parents, but the couple had been discussing the prospect of moving in together. He had a bachelor apartment, that my friend’s friend didn’t know about, and that’s where he would go with the other woman.
The discovery came when he accidentally sent birthday flowers to the wrong one at the wrong office. Both women are dental hygienists. When my friend’s friend called the florist, they described her boyfriend perfectly. She then searched up this other woman’s name, and her LinkedIn profile came up at her place of work. She then went over at lunch to “deliver” the birthday flowers (with my friend in tow).
The other woman was well surprised, having no idea who the “delivery person” was. My friend then showed the other woman photos of this guy, and the two women were hysterical! My friend sat with them both, to be the middle person, and they asked each other loads of questions.
My friend’s friend was angrier and seemed more upset, apparently, while the other woman held it together. But both declared the relationship over. My friend thinks the other woman is going to keep him anyway, but she thinks she should convince her friend not to take him back.
What do you think?
Doubled Down
Wow! A complete double life! Well, anyone could have predicted that would end badly for him…. But how sad that he had to take down TWO women with him!
Yes, I agree that your friend’s friend should NOT accept this vile behaviour, from anyone, and should be moving out of their rental property as soon as possible. I also think she should speak to the landlord to see how to get out of the contract quickly. And she’s going to have to decide if she can keep the puppy on her own, and if not, if he will. As a dog lover, I am concerned for this pup’s well-being.
As for the other woman, what she does is no longer of interest to your friend’s friend. If she chooses to remain in a relationship with a man who could deceive her for that long, without any remorse, then let her have him. He’ll for sure do it again. He’s completely amoral.
Your friend should be supporting her friend and helping her move on. She deserves much, much better.
FEEDBACK Regarding the sneaky mom (Nov. 28):
Reader – “If you look the other way when you see people stealing, you become a participant in the crime. Only if you’re not sure of what you’ve seen or if reporting the incident would put you in danger, are you justified in not doing anything. The writer had very specific information about what she saw the other shopper taking.
“The writer could have quietly informed the cashier. If you feel a customer needs charity, pay for their items. And remember, there are more than a few people who shoplift for reasons that have nothing to do with need. One of my husband’s colleagues, a professor, would hand something to his toddler — candy, a small toy — and then laugh because the cashier didn’t realize he’d gone through the checkout without paying. Not in need, not a kleptomaniac — just an amoral jerk.”
FEEDBACK Regarding baked babe (Nov. 27):
Reader – “Of course your advice was right on. But it brought back stark memories from my marriage of 18 years. All I can say is it never gets better. The addiction to weed is so powerful, and especially now that it’s been legalized, anyone who started smoking young, and used it to cope and found it made their life feel richer, can’t imagine life without it.
“My marriage ended, and it had a lot to do with addiction, including more than just weed. It always does. 30 years later, many partners later, I have my radar well-tuned and I know to look for those red flags. 12 step programs are so helpful, but most addicts are very reluctant to attend or give it up, especially now that it’s considered socially acceptable. Sadly, she’ll likely need to find her way out of that relationship.”