I’ve recently started dating a woman who I really like. We’ve gone on group dates, just us dates, moved slowly but not too slowly and have become intimate with each other. We are enjoying each other sexually, though we haven’t quite found our groove.

One thing I find very strange about her is that she insists on being on top when we are having sex. Like, we can be in a multitude of positions while we’re fooling around, but the minute it becomes intercourse, she wrestles me to get on top.

I don’t have a problem with this position, among many other positions. But it feels dominating especially since she’s so aggressive about the way she moves to get there.

How do I talk to her about this?

Not your horse

This style of intercourse is referred to as the “cowgirl” position. In this position, the woman straddles her partner and then maintains control over the angle, speed, and depth of penetration. This position encourages stronger clitoral stimulation, which can help many women reach orgasm faster, stronger, and at all.

With that in mind, speak to your new sexual partner. Talk through why she enjoys this position. Tell her which position you prefer and why. Consent goes both ways and if you don’t feel comfortable, you have every right to let your partner know.

I am in a relationship for almost two decades. Whenever I discuss marriage with my partner, he gets annoyed and says I’m stressing him. I want to get married. Should I stay or should I go?

Clashing

Why have you stayed this long? You want to get married; he doesn’t. You never once mention love, so after 20 years of not getting what you want, why would you stay?

I know very well how what may seem so clear cut on the surface is far more complicated. And I know it’s much easier to advise someone to leave, then to end a relationship – especially one you’ve been in for many, many years.

At this point, there’s no rush. But if you want to get married one day, then you’ll need to get out of this relationship; get over it (which will take time); find someone new; fall in love; and then get married. I say, get on with it.

A friend of mine recently bought me a vibrator and I have never been happier. This vibrator has multiple functions, several different speeds, and a few attachments. Every day is a new experience.

I’ve started working from home so I can take my breaks in full nudity. I leave meetings early, skip meals and turn my ringer off so as not to be disturbed.

I’m enjoying myself more than I ever have. My only issue is that I’m worried I will never find a partner who will satisfy me the way this magical vibrator has recently done. Should I stop using it?

Satiated

Self-love in all forms is an important and healthy part of our sexuality. Not everyone feels comfortable pleasuring themselves, and I’m happy for you that you have found something that works wonders.

However, if you are turning to your vibrator over meeting someone in real life, then it’s important you remove your battery pack for a little while. Vibrators are like 3D porn. Both can enhance your sex life, in moderation. The best sex is sex between two people who are in love. Then it becomes more than just pleasure.

Put your clothes on, go back to work and meet REAL people. Make a deal with your vibrator that you’ll date. Hopefully, one day you’ll meet someone who puts your vibrator to shame.

FEEDBACK Regarding “Funny Face” (Aug. 14):

Reader – “I had plastic surgery on my nose during the summer after high school. My nose was rather large, and people made fun of me when I was younger, which led to self-esteem issues. Some feedback I would give to this writer is that just because they look different, they shouldn't expect to feel different right away. Rebuilding self-esteem is a longer process, and they should be kind to themselves on the journey, but things will get better over time.”

Reader #2 – “We are all attracted to attractive people. But that is just our initial reaction; as we get to know co-workers, classmates and neighbours, their personalities become more important. The more their personalities match ours, the more meaningful the relationship becomes. It will take some time but no doubt she will pair up with a classmate.”