I think I’m in love with my chiropractor. I started seeing him for a sore hip that was causing me discomfort. He was recommended by my massage therapist. The first time I met him, I was attracted to him physically, though he’s not mainstream good-looking. There was just something about him.

In order to fix my hip, he had to put his hands on my body, obviously in a professional manner. But each touch was electrifying. He worked wonders for my hip but also lit me up inside. I went back again and again, each time my crush got hotter.

After a few months, we seemed to have alleviated the issue in my hip, but I was desperate to return just to see him. So I lied and created another injury. As soon as I arrived and he started working on me, he knew there was nothing wrong. So, I asked him out.

His response was this: “I would love to go on a date with you, but I need to sort some things out first.” Then he said, “I’ll call you. I have your number.” That was three weeks ago, there’s been radio silence and I’m not sure what to do.

Chiro Crush

Let’s look at the options here. He could have just been appeasing you in the moment and now he’s ghosting you. But that’s the worst-case scenario and not very professional. Maybe he’s in another relationship and needs to figure that out before deciding what he wants to do with your proposal. Possible as you two sound like adults. Or perhaps he’s looking into the legal and ethical side of dating a patient, of which he should already know the rules.

According to the College of Chiropractors in Ontario, it is prohibited to have sexual relations of any kind (intercourse, masturbation, genital touching, etc.) with a patient. It is strictly against the law. And there are strict guidelines for starting a relationship with a former patient, the least of which is that there needs to be a documented year between the last professional treatment and the onset of the sexual relationship.

Either way, I strongly suggest you find another chiropractor at another office, and have your files sent there. If they ask you why, I suggest telling them that it’s private, but is in no way a reflection of your current chiropractor’s capabilities or professionalism. You don’t want to negatively affect his career.

If he calls, tell him you’ve done your research (and do it) and you know about the year hiatus. However, if he’s willing to create a friendship, you’d be interested. And then see where life takes you. Good luck!

While visiting my cousin in her hometown over the winter holidays, I flirted and fooled around with a guy I met there. He was a friend of my cousin’s boyfriend’s brother. Nice guy, very good looking, lots of fun. We had a lot of fun together for the time I was there.

When I left, there wasn’t an emotional goodbye or anything like that. For me, it was just fun. We have since connected on social media and chat occasionally, but I don’t have feelings for him.

Now he’s asking if he can come stay with me for his school break next month, under the premise that he has always wanted to visit my hometown. I live at home, with my parents and siblings, which he knows.

Do I invite him to stay as a friend?

Weirded out

It all depends on your comfort level, and what your parents will allow. I suggest telling your mom how you feel, and what took place between you. I’m guessing she won’t allow the visit, and then you’re off the hook. If it makes you feel uncomfortable at all, just say no.

FEEDBACK Regarding “not dead yet” (Dec. 14):

Reader – “Sex is NOT a need. It’s a want. No one is entitled to sex with another person. Connection is a need. And sometimes those go together - sex is a great way to connect when BOTH parties want it. Connection and intimacy can happen without sex.

“No one should have sex they don’t want. If people want sexual release that’s something they can do on their own. How do comments like this affect asexual people? What about sexual trauma survivors (at least one in four women). This comment is so dangerously uninformed. Please educate yourself more if you’re going to do this job.”

Lisi – According to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, sex falls in the category of physiological needs, alongside food and breathing, the most basic of the five levels. That doesn’t give anyone the right to force someone else to have sex.