A guy I've been dating for two years claims he loves me but is constantly sneaking around and talking to other women. I'm 39 and he's 50; we’re not teenagers.

He picked me up from work one night and had a huge red hickey on his neck. When I asked him about it, he said I did that - but we hadn’t had sex in a week due to my work schedule. He just made that up to cover up his activities.

I take care of his kids and my own child, I stayed with him when he had his surgery, and helped pay bills while he was recovering. During a visit to his house, while making the bed, I smelled a woman's perfume. He then admitted that he did sleep with another woman whom he had just met, unprotected, and in his bed.

I'm upset and disappointed. He doesn't respect me, and I no longer feel like I need to be with him if I'm not enough. This is the second time he's done this and lied about it before he was caught. At this point, I'm convinced he's a manipulative, lying, sneaky man-child.

I'm at the point now where I don't want him touching me and I can't be around him either. I can forgive but not forget because he's clearly OK creating patterns out of so called “mistakes.” What should I do?

Taken for Granted

Walk away. You owe this man nothing, and after two years, he treats you with total disrespect. Walk away. You have a child to take care of, and model what acceptable behaviour looks like, both from the giver and the receiver. He’s lied to you on multiple occasions, and yet you keep going back for more. And he is putting your health at risk by having unprotected sex with strangers.

Walk away. You are young and have a lifetime ahead of you. Walk away – and don’t look back.

My wife and teenage daughter are best friends. They do everything together. It’s very sweet and I love seeing their relationship bloom and grow. But – I feel left out.

My wife works right near our daughter’s school, so they leave together in the morning. My daughter has other friends, of course, as does my wife, but they spend a lot of time together. No, I don’t want to go with them to get manicures, or to get my hair done, but it would be nice to just be invited. I feel like a third wheel in my own family.

How can I get back IN?

Left out Dad

Why don’t you invite both your wife and daughter out on a date? Take them for dinner and to see something special – a comedian, a play, a concert, or even a movie you know your daughter has been interested in.

If they feel that your attitude is that you’re not interested in the things they’re interested in, they’ll continue to do those things without you. But if you show interest, then they’ll include you.

Yes, there are times when a mother and daughter need only each other, but that shouldn’t preclude you from all the times in between.

It’s not about gender; it’s about interest. Mention to your daughter that the next time she goes for a manicure you’d like to join. There’s nothing wrong with a little cuticle cleanup every now and then. You (obviously) don’t have to get polish.

And talk to your wife. Tell her how you’re feeling. Perhaps she can think of other activities that the three of you could all enjoy.

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