My husband and I had a best friend for 25 years; we were always there for each other, e.g. when his first marriage ended.

Last year we learned he'd cheated on his second wife. We said we didn't approve but we were there for him (and for her also).

When his wife kicked him out, he stayed with us for a year. We had to suggest he find his own place. Our relationship continued. We never asked for rent, and he'd left some expensive bikes in our garage.
Last summer, he invited us to spend the day together with our kids, at a park. There, my husband accidentally damaged a sporting item of his, apologized, and said he'd pay for its repair.

Our friend grabbed his stuff, and his son, and left us standing there. Nine months later, we haven't heard from him; he didn't answer my calls.
My husband feels betrayed. Now we heard from his ex that he wants his bikes. My husband says he abandoned them long ago and he's not giving them to him.
I'm worried that a bad ending is about to get ugly. Should I just stay out of it and let them fight it out?
Concerned

No matter the legality of whether the bikes were "abandoned," you know they're this man's property and must return them.

You also already know he's a man of self-serving motives - he cheats on his wife, and takes advantage of your hospitality. Now he's gone off the rails over something small... perhaps he was looking for a way to end the relationship (embarrassment? Too much about the past?).

Tell your husband to let him go. This ex-friend will likely respond very badly if the bikes are withheld, and for your husband to behave just as angrily is a crummy model for your kids as well as continuing tension. Just write him off.

I'm 23, with my boyfriend four months, and for the past two months I've had lingering issues with his friends. I mostly see him at his house. One friend lives on the same street and wants to be over whenever they're free (a lot because they're both currently unemployed). Other friends also go over there.

They're younger and so different than me, and I don't really enjoy my time over there. This group has known each other since early high school so they're really tight. I don't want to pull him from his friends and look like the controlling girlfriend, but I want to keep respect for myself and shouldn't have to drag myself over there if it makes me unhappy.

Compromise seems best but I have a feeling it's going to be hard to find one.

Crowded Out

Maybe an unemployed boyfriend with a gang of hangers-on, and who doesn't recognize that you're uncomfortable or helps to find a compromise isn't the best choice for you.

AND, maybe if two out of four months together you aren't finding time alone, he doesn't feel you're someone he has to work hard to keep happy.

Of course, every relationship eventually requires compromises, so if you want to try to make this work, you have to plunge in and have the discussion. State your feelings, listen to his. Then come up with several possible "solutions." If none are accepted, take a break and see if he stays with his pals or comes up with a plan (and hopefully, a job, which might be the root of the problem).

My nephew, 18, won't graduate from high school, doesn't work, sleeps all day, and spends nights on the computer. He has no friends, no motivation, is unhappy but seemingly unable to make changes. There's possible marijuana use and a learning disability.

His mother's a single parent struggling with her own issues and enables this situation. The father isn't in the picture. What resources could get this young man motivated? How should it be approached? The mom's difficult to deal with, but I think this kid's depressed and in trouble.

Worried

Seek out educational consultants and if you can afford it, try to convince him to see someone who'd help find where his interests and potential skills could lead.

Also, research where there are local community youth re-training courses. His computer use could be re-directed to something that offers a path to achievement and self-esteem. Every outreach you make is worth the effort.