I recently got married to my boyfriend of four years.
Now, that we’re married, he feels like there’s no point in talking things out. He says our relationship is so strong we shouldn’t focus on “nothing” – but he considers everything he does wrong as nothing.
For instance, he took my toothbrush with him to work and told me to just use his. I thought that was extremely inconsiderate.

- Frustrated Newlywed

Keep extra toothbrushes on hand – dentists say we need to change them more often than most people think, or they become ineffective (as soon as they lose their shape).
If your husband took your toothbrush by mistake, or forgot to mention it, this isn’t a big “something” warranting a heart-to-heart chat. No one wants to go over a shopping list labeled, “All Your Faults.”
As newlyweds, you both naturally face an adjustment period, even if you thought you knew each other well beforehand.
Save The Talk for something important to consider, such as a behaviour that happens repeatedly, and has a negative effect on your relationship.

My ex-boyfriend had an affair with a married man while we were together and though it's been a year since we broke up, I still breaks my heart.
With my confidence not being that great to start, this has caused damage in my life that I can't begin to explain. It’s been a very hard time for me in every way imaginable.
What upsets me to this day is that he's still having sex with that man, whose wife and children aren't aware of his being bi-sexual.
I suffered some abuse while my ex and I were together because he was sexually frustrated with me and would get sexually aggressive and even very perverse. I feel like I went out with the Devil, like I've sinned or something.
At age 38, I thought I finally met the man of my life and loved him so much. I'm not sure how to proceed, not sure I can trust again. But I so want to be married and have children.

- Crushed

Low self-esteem can unfortunately beget more low self-esteem. It causes people to make decisions and choices that end up confirming their own inner belief that they do not deserve better.
I urge you to get professional therapy, and commit to a process that will help you understand how and why you got involved with this man, who’s been so emotionally and physically harmful to you. Your future depends on your developing the instincts, selectivity and self-esteem to make better choices when meeting new men.
You also need to learn when to cut and run from someone who’s been able to charm or coerce you into doing things you find perverse. This is far more essential to your well-being than blaming yourself.
The family of his sex partner should, and likely will find out; but you should avoid doing anything that could involve you with that man again.

I'm 36, living common-law with my fiancé, with no desire to get married (because I’d have to do all the work).
We dated for six years, lived together for four.
We NEVER have sex - only on holidays (3-5 times all year), for the past two years. I hate bringing it up because I feel like I'm begging but he always has an excuse (tired, not the right time, back/neck sore) etc.
Physically I haven't changed since we met and at that time we had sex five times a week (or more). I've told him to go to a doctor to see if everything is okay but he’s so stubborn. That’s an issue as well.
He's not a bad guy (has annoying habits) but I'm starting to pick at everything I don't like about our relationship because I’m resentful. What should I do?

- Happily Ever After?

You’re in a power struggle without knowing the stakes: He’s withholding sex for some unknown but real reason, not an excuse.
You’re so definite about not getting married and feeling he’d never help out (so what does he do now?) that your motivation for staying with him is questionable. You do not even mention love.
Even if his low sex drive has a medical base such as depression, there’s too little communication and compassion between you two to move forward.
Unless you’re both willing to get couples’ counselling, this standoff needs to end with you two going separate ways.