My husband's male cousin who lives two hours away, asked to stay at our home during a weekend family event. We agreed, and understood that his girlfriend was coming too. However, I was only informed on their arrival day, that they were also bringing their dog.

I'm a dog-lover myself but I have two young kids... a toddler and a five-year-old, so am waiting till they're a little older before I bring a dog into our crowded home.

I didn't appreciate that, when she arrived, the girlfriend announced her dog was skittish with youngsters and I should make sure my children didn't upset him, as he'll bite!

However, she didn't take any responsibility for making sure he didn't bother my children. Also, when the dog came inside wet from the rain (and mud) outside, she didn't stop to wipe his paws, and didn't move when he jumped on my couch or the guest room bed.

My husband loves his cousin so he acted like nothing was wrong. After they left, I said they could never stay with us again, and he got very angry. Am I wrong?

Bad Guest

You were un-diplomatic and unwisely turned this incident into an argument between you two, when the issue is about the dog as a poor contender for your future hospitality.

Your husband saw what you did... but didn't want to embarrass his cousin. Hopefully, he was quietly watchful of the kids, as you undoubtedly were, since you don't mention a nasty dog-child incident or bite.

The time you'll need to talk about this is if there's a future request to stay over. Without insulting his cousin or his girlfriend, you have every right as parents to say that you're not comfortable housing their dog. But you can add that you'd be happy to find a kennel, or dog-sitter, or a hotel that accepts dogs, to help them out.

My wife used to be a fun-loving party-girl, we went out all the time, and I loved her free spirit. But ever since she had our baby daughter nine months ago, she's changed completely. She's moody, neurotic about the baby, and a clean freak about everything in the house, including me.

I have to sanitize my hands and put my clothes in the laundry as soon as I get in from work, because there are smokers among my co-workers. I don't smoke.

I can't put up with this "stranger" for long. What can I do short of moving out?

Fed Up

She's not a stranger; she's a new mother who's overcome with her sense of responsibility for a tiny infant totally in her care. It's a common reaction, especially among young women who never hung around babies before and never even thought of their future roles as mothers.

These are early days of adapting to new roles as parents. Your workday life hasn't changed anywhere as much as her daily life, and she's trying to get you on side, through hygiene, to being as careful and caring about the baby as she is.

If her intensity increases, gently suggest that she check in with her doctor for an after-baby checkup, in case she's signaling a level of post-partum depression.

Otherwise, start thinking about your role as a new father - pitching in with the bath, taking your baby daughter out in the stroller to relieve her mom, and yes, being careful to sanitize your hands when it's appropriate.

FEEDBACK Regarding the man who wrote about difficulty with sex after his prostate surgery and abstinence (Sept. 8):

Reader - "I was married for four years, the second time for both of us; when my wife said, no more sex. She said it hurt or it gave her thrush. For the next 15 years our married life was a joke, as neither of us wanted to let our friends or family know there was an issue. She became a heavy drinker. Eventually, I saw a lawyer and we split.

"Never once during this time was I unfaithful. Three years later I met a lady and we connected. However, owing to non-use, my lower parts didn't function as requested.

"I'm now undergoing treatment for erectile dysfunction. It isn't easy, but the aim is to regain the intimacy that for years I never had, and with my current partner. I consider that I'm lucky."