I've been living with my boyfriend for one year. He earns the same amount of money as I do. I pay the rent, and he chips in for gas, food, and going out places - but not 100% of the time.

My family thinks he should be splitting ALL the bills with me, but he thinks he should be the one to save towards a house. I agree with my family, but I also see his side, too.

We got in a huge fight over this; he slept on the couch and says that he never wants to visit my family again for this reason.

What's right and what's wrong in this situation? Should we be splitting the money? He claims that he pays just as much as me but it would be nice if it were going into one bank account rather than just his (just in case we do break up).

Two Sides

Instead of listening to, and exposing him to, your parents' opinions, you should be discussing this with him on your own, and working this out fairly together. You currently have an uneven arrangement, because you're NOT protected in case of a break-up. Also, while you MUST pay the bills, he can find reasons and excuses not to save, due to varying circumstances.

The logical division is to split all bills and BOTH put an agreed amount into a joint account for savings. When there's a financial problem or other demand, both of you put in less towards a house.

But you've made it possible for him to sulk on a couch because you let your parents mingle in your business as a couple.

However, if he disagrees with the fair solution you offer, he's not playing fair in this relationship and you have other issues to think through, as in whether he wants control, and whether he's truly sharing your life together.

My husband of 19 years and I have been mostly happy, but he's more open-minded than I am; almost anything goes regarding his son, who's now 24, living with his girlfriend and their son, age four.

The girlfriend never returns a hello when she visits, never offers to help with dinner or clean up, never says thanks when she leaves... nor thanks us for gifts. I get very stressed when they're coming over and so don't even wish to be here.

I don't see this changing as we've known her for six years and I feel the same stress every time. My husband doesn't like her lack of manners but is able to overlook this for the sake of his son and grandson. I need some help dealing with this. This has taken up way too much valuable time and bad feelings between my husband and me.

Fed Up

The person who needs help is this girl... has anyone thought of how insecure and lacking self-esteem she is?

Talk to her, kindly. Tell her something positive... about how she's handling the child, or how she looks, anything you can find to encourage her.

Find something she cares about and talk about it, no matter whether it's of interest to you. She needs to be drawn out, not treated as a mannerless child to be ignored.

Your husband's right to be supportive of his son, but he's going about it wrongly, by putting in no real effort either.

Instead of worrying about how she affects you, think of the grandchild, and be the caring adult here.

At a local store recently, some young adults barrelled their way by me without an "excuse me," and laughed at me for no apparent reason.

Then, some others brought their children along and they were rude, too. No one was watching them, and toys thrown by these kids almost hit my friend. The parents did zero to ease the situation.

Apparently, this gang pulls this off every Friday night. They think it's okay to bully other people. What should I do? Go at a different hour when they're not around, or tell a store employee?

Pestered

Yes, shop at a time when this rowdy gang is less likely to be there, and also talk to a store manager if it happens again. You can't personally control groups of people bent on mayhem, but you can avoid them and also seek help from those who can challenge them.