Dear Readers - Here are some of your leftover questions from my April 6 live online chat about relationships with "Control Freaks:"

How about dealing with someone who controls the "relationship" - saying that he wants you, but only contacting you for sex; lying; and with other women in his life?

He asks you to do everything for him, be there for him, but lies about everything. He blames you for whatever's wrong because you're asking what's going on, and confronting him about what he's doing and its effect.

We're talking about years here. How do you deal with that?

What matters is how YOU deal with it, and why it's been "years" of you still involved with a manipulative liar and cheat? Walk away. If there are kids involved, they're not benefiting from this man's behaviour, or your acceptance of it.

My ex and I were together for a really short time and he completely destroyed my trust. I'm the only one trying to solve things and he keeps cutting communication off because he thinks I'm threatening his family. I'm really not. He's younger and his parents mostly control everything. I recently discovered that he cheated on me and put me at risk.

Since it's over, your need to "solve" things just keeps you emotionally attached in a negative way. He can eventually charge you with harassment if you don't let it go, especially if he feels threatened. Drop it. There's currently controlling and obsessive behaviour on your part here.

I think I'm a controller. It's the only way I can function. I try not to be emotionally destructive, but I definitely want things done "right," especially in my home. I can't tolerate chaos and need an ordered structured environment to be happy. If the people who live with me can't or won't keep things orderly, I get upset. Am I being too demanding?

The reason you control your environment is strictly internal (it's often the mark of a child of an alcoholic or disturbed parent.) You're imposing your own anxieties on your spouse and children, who'll resent you for it, and may develop their own dysfunctions because of it. See a therapist to learn how to let up, and bring peace into your home.

How do you tell someone who's held only one job for the last 23 years and calls herself the company "controller," that she doesn't know everything and should treat people with dignity and respect, NOT BELITTLING behaviour.

Control freaks in the workplace belittle others because they're so insecure themselves, and fear losing their jobs if it's ever discovered that they do NOT know everything. Complain about these putdowns to Human Resources, and/or try to get moved to another part of the company. OR, if the situation's intolerable, look for another job.

I had a two-month relationship five years ago that resulted in the girl cheating on me. I'm now in a very serious relationship of two years. However, I find myself very controlling and unable to trust my girlfriend. She hasn't given me reason other than a few small things, yet I feel the need to know where she is and everything she does.

You're overreacting - unfairly - because of the past. You'll push her away if you don't smarten up. Sometimes people cheat in order to break up, or because they're uncommitted, or immature, or not in love with you. And sometimes that's lucky, because otherwise you'd still be with that person.

My mother's control took the form of worry and it was unhealthy for me to be around her. I tried to talk to her about it but eventually I had to end the relationship.

If her negativity dragged you down, and there was no way you could rise above it, then you saved yourself.

I'm that scared girlfriend with three past long-term relationships that ended due to cheating... how can I correct my controlling behaviour? The nights that my partner goes out, I have to take sleeping pills!

Alarm bells should ring loudly about your own choices in men - three of them lacking loyalty, faithfulness and self-control. Or were you that "scared" girlfriend (i.e. insecure) from the start, which helped push them away? Think this through and then sleep better, knowing that you'll examine your own behaviour honestly, then that of your partner, and it'll be clearer who and what needs to change.