My boyfriend of one year and I are both young, but he's serious about staying together.

However, we're fighting about the type of music he listens to which offends me - songs about rape and murder, derogatory to women and homophobic. I detest it.

He refuses to stop. I love him, but his finding this music funny disturbs me. He doesn't think rape is okay, he just doesn't see the problem in listening to it as content in songs.

He thinks I'm upset over nothing, but morality is very important to me. I want to be with someone who shares my beliefs. Am I too young to worry about his morality?

Should I focus on the amazing parts of our relationship or see this as a roadblock that we can't get around? Am I wasting my time with someone who isn't what I'm looking for?

Moral to a Fault?

Tastes in pop culture are one way people present themselves publicly, and how they identify with particular groups. Most young people go through several phases in their music choices, depending on what they and their close friends think is cool. He'll likely change some preferences in time.

But take a closer look at him. It's unusual that, despite wanting to stay together, he dismisses feelings and beliefs so important to you.

He does NOT get your perspective on negative messages in music, though he may be intrinsically moral.

For now, your differences are only grounds for some good verbal sparring. But, if you DO stay together as a couple, and he ignores your strong views, or still likes this music, it may become intolerable for you, especially if others associate you with his choices.

Since you are so young, you both should consider meeting and dating others, and seeing if people who share your values now are a more comfortable and mutually-respectful fit.

I'm going to university next year and freaking out about choosing one. My problem: My cousin and I want to go to the same university... but I feel it's time to experience things on my own.

My cousin and I are very close, we're the same age and we've practically gone through our entire lives together. It's not that I don't like him, he's my best friend and we can talk to each other about anything upsetting us.

I'm not sure that I want the next chapter of my life to be similar to this one. I obviously can't tell him not to go to that university, and I wouldn't want to say that. What should I do?

Between Rock and Hard Place

Try the Art of Suggestion: Express your thoughts to your cousin, as you say you can.... not about him, but about the world of experiences awaiting you both, and the importance of being able to learn from each other and broaden the adventure for both.

Say how great it'd be to be at different universities and visit each other, and get to know some of each other's new friends, etc.

Especially for the first year, when facing so many new people, it may go easier being somewhere on your own. Otherwise, if you appear as a closed unit, it could put others off from seeking friendship.

BUT, if he still chooses the same university, make sure you two join different activities and are open to different groups, even though you'll obviously stay connected there and not avoid one another.

Overseas visitors (husband's side) recently had us chauffeur them everywhere without thanks, we wasted food as they wouldn't eat what we had, and made us pay for all outings.

After I'd cooked a special dinner, the wife got annoyed that I didn't put my best china in the dishwasher, though she wasn't offering to help wash.

The day before leaving, she presented three big bags of laundry while I was washing my baby's clothes, demanding that her laundry be done.

Unfortunately, my husband didn't back me up, I did their laundry and the whole experience has caused huge arguments since. Also, they badmouthed us to our family and friends that we did nothing for them.

Unhappy Hostess

Forget the freeloaders and never invite them again. Meanwhile talk to your husband - not about his family, but about needing to support each other, when the irritants come from outside your most important relationship.