Dear Readers - Here's Part Two of your ways that working parents can seek "balance" in their busy lives (see Nov. 10 column and yesterday's Part One):

Reader - "I urge new parents to find a way to keep the intimacy spark alive.

"I struggled mightily with this. I'd fallen so entirely in love with my tiny baby that I neglected my husband. The damage is still apparent five years and another child later."

Reader - "My husband and I struggled with "balance" when I returned to work after maternity leave. With neither set of grandparents close by and no daycare options available (mostly due to finances), I was lucky enough to have a job that allowed me to work evening hours and occasionally on weekends. I could be at home with our son during the day.

"However, we had very little time together as a family. I'd arrive home after midnight and my husband had early mornings. Most days I was exhausted and had trouble keeping up with the housekeeping. Eventually the job worked out better.

"I have a lot to share, that we learned:

1) Make fewer plans on weekends. We tried to keep one day with all of us at home doing nothing much, just to have that time together - both cleaning, cooking, catching up on conversation.

"It might seem like you're cutting out friends or family, but it's more important to stay rested and relaxed in the family setting. You soon get into a routine and are able to think about plans outside the home, and seeing people.

2) Rotate who works in the kitchen. Even if the other partner has longer hours, try finding one or two days weekly, he/she arrives home earlier and prepares the evening meal or cleans up.

3) Make one day only as laundry day, if possible. This saves any extra running around after laundry during the rest of the week. There may be emergency laundry needs, but the bulk is done.

4) Have a date-night, or at least an evening where you lay aside all household and family issues and focus on each other - even if it's just cuddling. Have a shower together, listen to music, watch a movie, just talk (but not particularly serious issues).

"Never have major conversations/discussions after 11PM. You're both too tired to listen or think straight, and things get emotional too quickly.

"If one partner resists the date-night, preferring spontaneity, remind him/her that it takes more than just a hand on the thigh right before going to bed to get someone in the mood. A few other gestures throughout the evening usually do the trick (a gentle grope, a hug, an unexpected kiss), and also gives advance warning if someone is willing, or still too tired to enjoy sex that evening. It saves disappointments or surprises.

"Or say it in words - don't always expect the gestures to be understood completely, and if in doubt, ask."

Reader - "If at all possible, allow yourself a hobby night - where you get the evening off to do something you enjoy with a group of people outside the home, and allow your partner the same.

"Most important, if something goes by the wayside - some plans, a bit of work - don't take it to heart, and concentrate on the family and yourself. Nothing happens immediately, and a lot of patience is needed to stay "balanced."

Reader - "One option that I believe provides the most benefits to the child is, stay at home until the child is in school.

"Do the math: How much does the wife pay for childcare, commuting, lunch, and work wardrobe? What's earned at her job, after taxes? Even if she earns more than the cost of working, is the remainder worth the stress? Or worth missing out on these irreplaceable first years with her child?

"I stayed home after the birth of my first child. I earned a generous salary and loved my job. However, we put my son's needs first. We feel far richer in the things that matter."

Ellie - This was a view expressed by many. Interestingly, it's only the "wife/mother" who's recommended, here, to stay home. You can "do the math" if that's the driving reason for working, but there's no reason that only applies to the female parent.