Ten years ago I had an affair with a married man – it was supposed to be "just for fun," with no strings attached.  It lasted two years and got complicated when he fell in love with me and decided to leave his wife for me.      
      But I’m not in love with him. I was still in love with my ex, finally reconnected with him and ended my affair. I left that married man with a broken heart and a shattered family.        
      I felt really bad about it, but did what I thought was right. Unfortunately, my rekindled relationship with my ex didn’t last. I'm now in my early 40s and desperately want to have a family of my own.       
      I feel so depressed and lonely sometimes. I want to feel alive again and will do anything to get that feeling back. I contacted the married man and resumed the affair with him.      
      He had mended his relationship with his wife and will never leave her, but I don't care. I just want someone to be there for me. I feel like I'm playing with fire, but this also makes me feel alive.
      - Long Affair

You ARE knowingly putting several people at risk of getting burned – without a thought for his wife and any children.
      There are many ways to “feel alive” without such selfish disregard, and without taking advantage of this man’s emotional weakness, when you don’t even love him. There are unattached men who’d also like to have a lasting relationship … whereas your lover is NOT your “family.”        
      Ultimately, he won’t be there for you, either because he stays with his wife, or recognizes you’ve always cared primarily for yourself, while he’s your second-rate choice.
      Yet, you’ve written this letter indicating you’re not as sure of your actions as you pretend. Develop this shred of integrity and build a real future.      
      It means making an effort to meet single men, and showing interest in an open, honest relationship, then working at it instead of stealing someone else’s mate.

My brother confided in me last year that he’s been diagnosed with a life-threatening affliction. He asked that I not tell my parents or any family. He’s deteriorating rapidly, still insisting I tell no one.     
      Our family doesn’t gather often; I’ve covered up for him when he wasn't up to visiting. I’ve encouraged him to tell my parents and siblings, or allow me to. I believe that my sister-in-law has confided in her parents and siblings.
      Should it come out that I knew for some time, my parents will be extremely upset with me. But if I go against his wishes, I’ll be alienated and unable to support him or his family during the tough times ahead.      
      And what do I say to my parents should it be discovered that I knew he was sick?
      - Sibling’s Secret

Talk to your brother and ask his reasons for secrecy only for his family; also, ask your sister-in-law her views. Better to be fully informed about their decision, if you’re going to hold to your promise.     
      If you find that your brother fears the emotional reaction of family at a time when he needs inner strength, show your understanding, but also recommend specialized counselling. His doctor can refer him to an appropriate therapist who deals with people facing such an illness.     
      Meanwhile, respect your brother’s wishes … it’s his life.

I have two young nephews; the "party" thrown for one’s first birthday involved 15 kids and 40 adults in a rented hall in a community centre (with drinks and nibbles plus birthday cake).     
      I bought the kid a hand puppet, but when I saw the size of the gifts piled up I was stunned. These kids have so many toys I couldn't fit them all into my living room!    
      I find the super-consumption incredible; I'd much rather use the money for starving kids and take my nephews to the Science Centre. But that isn’t the same as "presents," is it?
      - Put Off

A gift of your personal time – especially with fun involved – is certainly a meaningful present. Just as a gift that teaches youngsters early lessons of caring for those less fortunate, is worth more than yet another toy.    
      Go with your instincts and be that special uncle who’s thoughtful about sharing companionship, as well as sharing worthy ideas.