I’ve discovered that my boyfriend of two years has been cheating; he said he didn’t know why he did it. He’s not divorced yet, but has been separated for these two years. We stayed together after he said he wasn’t with the other woman anymore.    
      But I had a gut feeling, so I phoned the other woman and confronted her. Once again I forgave him and he said he’d never again hurt me so much. I do believe him, but the trust isn’t there anymore.      
      I love him. He says he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me.     
      He says he needs time to himself, to get to know who he is again and concentrate on his kids and job. He’s asking for a month or so to himself. His doctor says he needs to be on his own.      
      I don’t know how to take it. There’s no texting me anymore or even phone calls, but we just email. Do I just see what happens?
      - Broken Heart

You both rushed into a relationship immediately after he left his wife and kids. This is a known recipe for disaster, with cheating its first symptom. You were a willing set-up for being his “transitional woman.”    
      Backing up his “need for space” with his doctor’s stamp of approval, is proof this man wants OUT. Maybe he truly wants to find out who he is – but it could mean anything from going back to his wife, the other woman, or several more passing partners.    
      Accept that it’s over. He’s not ready for a committed relationship. And don’t wait till he is. Date others, but first, make sure they’re not just grasping about for early comfort and sex.

My boyfriend’s mother tells me things about her family that she shouldn't be telling me. These "tell all" sessions mostly occur when she’s excessively consuming pain pills, alcohol, or both.     
      During these sessions, she’s also prone to erratic behavior  - breaking/spilling things, becoming agitated, speaking incoherently, etc. More worrying, she’ll over-medicate herself during these fits of confusion.    
      She’s endured, alone, one of her children being very ill, which aggravated her own medical issues involving pain and fatigue. I’ve tried to talk to her about it but am told that I don’t understand what it’s like to have a sick child.
      My boyfriend brushed off my concern, saying she acts like that when she takes too many pills. I know I’m just the girlfriend, but I AM worried and everyone else ignores or tiptoes around the issue.
      - Concerned

Look more closely at your boyfriend – his casual attitude towards his mother’s pain and pill popping, as well as to your thoughtful concern, speaks warnings about sharing a future of life’s challenges with him.    
      Tell him his manner of denial regarding his mother’s condition is unacceptable to you. He needs to take some responsibility, e.g. talk to his mother’s doctor about her medication and possible addictions and discuss ways to get her help caring for her child.      
      Otherwise it’s too painful for you to hang around as the girlfriend who’s also being ignored.    
      Meantime, try to turn the tell-all chats into an opportunity to tell his mom you care about her and would like her to take better care of herself by seeing her doctor, even offering to accompany her.    
      Be prepared that other relatives and your guy, himself, might dissociate from the only person who sees the elephant in the room.

In my childhood, my father was physically, emotionally and psychologically abusive. I suffer from depression and get very angry about it, especially at my mother who allowed the abuse.     
      She cares more about the man who used to beat her up than about her children.    
      I’m currently not talking to her because of my ongoing anger. Should I tell her why I'm angry? I’m moving out this month.
      - Still Wounded

The move brings distance from your parents which is crucial to your getting professional help to handle your anger and move on from past hurts.      
      Consider explaining to your mother that you’ll be getting guidance to deal with the family dysfunction that scarred your childhood.    
      This may eventually open a meaningful conversation between you two. BUT, if you blame her before you’re open to understanding the whole picture of that time, she might be unreachable. Get the healing you need; talk later.