My close girlfriend of many years is married to a very entrepreneurial guy who's been up and down financially several times. He always bounced back in the past, but his latest nosedive came during the crisis two years ago, and he hasn't recovered.

My husband has a very solid job and we have good savings, which they know, because we've vacationed together over the years and talked pretty openly.

My friend has called to say they can't afford to move from the house they can no longer afford (and can't get the price they're asking) to a smaller place because they can't get a mortgage. The bank's finished with rescuing this guy unless someone substantial co-signs.

We know there's risk involved, but feel sick for her (she's truly my best friend) and also have always liked him, even though he's not always financially reliable. Your thoughts?

Torn

Much depends on what you can afford to lose... regarding both the friendship and your savings.

Also, co-signing a mortgage isn't about risking chump change, so you need some financial advice here from your bank or investment manager.

Assess the nature of your friendship... because co-signing will also make you somewhat of a "partner" in their lifestyle. So ask yourselves, can you give this support without becoming judgemental about how they live re: future business ventures, vacations, etc?

Or, if you suggest some other option, such as their renting a smaller place until they can build more money towards a purchase, can you handle their feeling that you let them down?

Many people will tell you, that when you lend money (or co-sign on a loan), with friends or family, you need to be prepared to consider it as a possible "gift."

My son's wife is a shopaholic. She justifies her habit by buying online, and always saying she's getting "bargains." My son admits that it worries him, as her job is vulnerable since there were layoffs in her company and her turn may come any time.

Their house is cluttered with every latest fad gadget, and if she buys one set of sheets on sale, she buys three.

Meanwhile, she's otherwise a very nice person, and my son and she love each other and get along pretty well (except for his complaints to me about her latest purchases).

What can I do to help her see that "bargains" aren't saving money if you're spending what you can't afford?

Worried Mom

Stay out of this, Mom. She works, contributes to their income, he's aware of this situation, and it's up to him to figure out how to discuss this with her. He "complains" to you, to avoid confronting her.

Tell him it's their issue to handle. He needs to find ways to make her see the big picture of their budget, rather than her small, unrealistic view of what she's "saving" as she keeps on spending.

I don't "get" cats, my wife loves them. I particularly cannot stand the cat she brought into the marriage... he constantly throws up on anything that looks like a rug, including laundry that drops on the floor. How do I get my wife to stop pretending she doesn't mind the terrible smell, and get rid of this annoying animal?

Smelly Cat

He's her "pet," and you don't stand much chance here, as this is an emotional bond for her. Instead, show some compassion for the cat's digestive problem and seek treatment from the vet. Picking up your laundry will help.

My neighbour's a huge braggart. He's always talking about his latest "score," which could be anything from his golf game, or catching a big fish while on vacation, to winning in a "private" poker game. None of these feats ever take place in anyone's view, so he can never be challenged!

Our street is quite friendly, so he has plenty of opportunity to be the blowhard if there's a barbeque at someone's house. Also, we share a driveway so cannot really avoid bumping into him regularly.

I'm tired of his tall tales and don't believe a thing he says. How do I stop listening without saying so?

Fed Up

Neighbour relationships are almost as important as family if you want to live in a peaceful environment. You don't have to linger long, but you do have to be polite. Better to show faint but brief interest, rather than create a hostile environment next door.