My friend, 39, is turning into a crazy, stalking ex-girlfriend. She's a single mom of two kids living in her own home that she can barely afford. "Loser Guy" moved in three years ago and their relationship was very verbally abusive (mainly him), mutual distrust, and she later found out he cheated.

He refused to pay his fair share of living costs. He had partial custody of his two children who caused trouble with her kids when they visited, including spreading lies about them. She kicked him out and took him back repeatedly, and she finally ended it for good five months ago.

But she's obsessed with discovering whomever he's talking to or texting, and has hacked into his Facebook and cell phone accounts, then sends messages and calls his contacts, to "warn" them about him.

He's looking for another "easy" target as he's living with his parents. This consumes her life. She suffers from low self-esteem and depression and won't just forget about him and stop answering his calls and texts as he's still bothering her as well.

I'm sure she isn't telling the counselor she's seeing about hacking into his accounts. But she's making a name for herself around town as a crazy stalker.

She's on two contradictory paths... seeking therapy, yet persisting in obsessive behaviour that'll lower her self-image even further - especially if people are gossiping about her actions.

Don't waste your breath telling her to forget him. Instead, tell her that stalking her ex is doing HER more harm than him. Besides the fact he can charge her with harassment, the contacts she's "warning" also see her in a negative light. And so do the people she knows who could otherwise be helping her get back into a social scene and meet new people who'll appreciate her.

Currently, she's not letting go because she has nothing else. Show you care by helping to get her out, doing positive things.

My husband's grown son appears to be addicted to a prescription drug. It may be that he suffers from depression, but many signs also point to substance abuse (though not alcohol or street drugs).

He told us a friend of his is addicted to Percodan, but denies he is. He was a university student in a city where students' prescription drug problems are prevalent. He lives there now in a house his grandfather willed him.

He sleeps a lot, is in and out of jobs. We help support him as does his mother and sister. His house is unkempt, dangerous to live in. My husband, 70s, visits him frequently, but it's a three-hour drive.

We've just learned that his son's tenant, a friend, has overdosed and died. We're more worried than ever. How do we find out what his problem is and where to get help?

Worried

Step up your involvement right away, when the shock of his friend's death might make him more receptive. At the very least, his father (and you, if you wish) should stay awhile with him or nearby.

Strongly urge a doctor's visit - without labeling his problem addiction and/or depression, you can say this death is a red flag for him to check out his own health.

Once he's in a professional's hands, the answers should soon emerge. If he's addicted, there are rehab programs and support groups in your general area, which you can research through a thorough online search plus the doctor's referrals.

I really like this guy, but my best friend thinks he's really cute then says she doesn't like him. But I know she'll get mad if she finds out I like him. He calls me beautiful and I'm really starting to like him lots but I don't want to lose my best friend over it.

Loyalty?

Leave it up to the guy. If he asks you out, and hasn't asked her first, it's fair game. Just thinking a guy is cute doesn't stake her claim. You can honestly say you did nothing to encourage him, but it'd be silly for neither of you to have a chance.

However, do recognize that calling you "beautiful" is flattering, but doesn't mean he's interested in more than a friendly conversation. He may even have a girlfriend. So, if he doesn't make the first move, neither should you, if you want to keep your best friend.