I met a guy online two weeks ago. We’ve exchanged pictures of ourselves and our parents, communicating on daily emails, but never on Skype.
He’s a US Marine (I’ve seen photos of him in his uniform), and I’m from the Caribbean.
He says he wants me to be his wife and for us to be a family. He wanted to visit me next month when he has his vacation.
Then he emailed that he wants to send a package to show his appreciation of how much I mean to him.
The package would include $100,000 to find a furnished apartment and other stuff for when he arrives.
This money seems too good to be true.
I traced his email address then confronted him about how I knew he wasn't in the location he’d said.
But it turns out I was wrong about his location. I haven't heard from him since then because he travelled to Africa for a one- month assignment.
I apologized repeatedly for my mistake, but he hasn't emailed me back, and hasn't been on the website where we met.
I feel like I’ve lost a really good guy. I really love him.
How do I get our relationship back on track?
Stressed and Upset
The only track you should be on is away from him.
This bundle of money IS too good to be true. It’s a scam. Possibly a dangerous one you’re lucky to have missed.
Your head had better instincts than your heart.
His behaviour screamed alarms - proposing after two weeks’ online, sending a “package” to get money out of the country, disappearing when challenged.
Your decision to trace his email saved you from a huge mistake.
He’s likely already onto someone else who doesn’t do any checking.
Hopefully, that’ll never be you.
My wife and I moved in with her father and grandmother a few years ago. Everything was initially smooth but slowly things between her grandmother and I became extremely tense.
We’re constantly butting heads. She has many irritating habits - very poor hygiene, often with strong body odour, which rubs off onto furniture, other people she touches, and coats in the same closet.
She doesn’t care about germs or bacteria when she cleans or does dishes.
We’ve approached issues with her calmly but she takes offence.
We want to help her. I doubt she washes her clothes and she never washes her hair, only has it done weekly at a salon.
How can we address this without her thinking we’re ganging up on her?
I understand that she’s unlikely to change her habits after 80-plus years, but they affect the people she lives with. Moving out isn’t an option, unfortunately.
Poor Hygiene, Bad Relations
If you leave everything up to her at 80-plus, don’t expect changes. Especially if she owns the house.
Instead of butting heads, try being truly helpful by: 1) Not letting her do dishes anymore and insisting, kindly, on doing them yourselves. The same goes for house cleaning.
2) Buy her a few new items and help out by putting her wash load in once a week.
3) Look into agencies that offer affordable senior care. Some supply personal care workers to assist with bathing and laundry.
4) Show interest in her health by getting her to see her doctor with whom you can raise the hygiene issues. Hopefully, he/she will tell her that not washing regularly breeds germs and infections.
If all else fails, tell her the unpleasant odour’s coming between her and her family.
My husband of 12 years suffers from fibromyalgia. I’m the sole breadwinner and his go-to person for emotional support.
Sometimes, I cannot take it, to put it simply. How can I tell him, gently, that I need some time for me?
Tell him you need some time to refresh your energy.
Start with slow but steady signals – e.g. book a massage for yourself on your day off work. It’s not a long time away and he’s not unable to be on his own that long.
The same goes for a weekly few hours’ out with a friend. If there’s a relative or friend who can visit with him, invite them over and leave some snack.
Make your home life easier – hire cleaning help every two weeks if affordable, use healthy takeout food some days instead of cooking.
Tell him your self-care’s essential for supporting him long-term.
Tip of the day:
If you sense something’s too good to be true, trust your instinct.