I dated her for five months - the best relationship I ever had. We met on a dating site, never fought. I took her on a trip to Las Vegas. We text-ed daily, kissed and held hands until the last two weeks, when we weren't making love much anymore.

She text-ed, "it's not working out." I went to her house, and she'd already changed the lock. She came to the door, said she doesn't love me.

After Vegas, she had wanted "space," then said she missed me and thinks she's falling in love with me. I stayed over that weekend. Right after, she said she didn't want to see me any more.

She'd previously been with someone for 18 years, lived with him for five years until he died in bed beside her. She was trying to move forward with me. The day before I took her to Vegas, she finally dumped his ashes at a beach. She hasn't been the same since.

I feel she's in a depression. I love her; we'd spoken of marriage. I've tried to talk to her but she keeps refusing to see me.

She'd kicked her two daughters out at 19 and changed the lock then. She didn't see her mom and stepfather for 14 years, and has had no relationship with her real father and brother for years.

Should I keep trying to get her back? I'm 51, she's 48.

Heartbroken

Pursuing her would be like banging your head against a stone wall.... hurtful and hopeless. Her pattern is set: When she's done, she's done. It's evident in all her relationships and you're no exception. If she's in a clinical depression, she needs professional help, more than wooing.

Be grateful you did NOT marry her, because close ties don't prevent her from disconnecting when and if she chooses, and in the most brutal, final way.

Whatever happened in Vegas stays in Vegas, because it's over.

I broke up several years ago with my then-boyfriend of one year; I wasn't in love with him. My two closest girlfriends were friends with him. The breakup wasn't cordial - he was very angry, pushed and grabbed me with force during an argument, and said derogatory and hurtful things including mocking the death of my father.

His harassment - in person, through e-mails, texts, and phone calls - lasted two years. I don't feel comfortable being around him. I told my two friends, but they began interacting with him more than they even speak to me.

They still invite me to places where he shows up. I never asked anyone to take sides, but I feel betrayed by them, after he showed me such hate and disrespect. Yet they say they love and support me. Am I wrong to feel resentful?

Torn

It's natural that you feel resentful, but unfortunately, it affects your friendships. In truth, it's your ex whom you mostly resent, still.

You'd get past any feelings about him, if you realize that a) he was an immature jerk who couldn't handle rejection without lashing back, and b) it's lucky you learned this, so there was no going back. Get past the whole episode with him, and you may care less about your girlfriends' involvement.

They have a right to their friendship with him. But you can insist they alert you when inviting you where he might attend. If they don't, they're being unsupportive, even mean. If so, you'll want to get past them too.

Before marrying a year ago, my husband and I agreed we'd have children when the time's right. I'm 30, he's 35. He now says he's comfortable with his lifestyle, is too old for an infant, and doesn't want kids. Also, he doesn't like my family so wouldn't want them around our kids.

I feel cheated and hurt. He says I'd have to give up my successful career, which I don't entirely believe. But if I leave him, it may be too late to find someone who wants children. What should I do?

Cheated

Time to assess your husband, first. He appears set in his ways, controlling (despite some difficulties, the career/motherhood balance can be handled). And he's negative about your family to an extreme position regarding children not yet conceived!

You don't know what's ahead without him, but look closely at what you do know about staying with him.