I’m a guy, 16, in a great relationship for two months; we had sex and I was crazy about her. 

Early on, I cheated on her but didn’t tell her, because I realized it was dumb.

Then, she cheated on me and apologized. I was hurt deeply and really mad at her. I wanted nothing to do with her; then I confessed, and we decided to stay together.

A week later she lied to me and hung out with this guy again.

She was out doing “illegal stuff” and got caught by her mother who also found out we had sex. She told my mom, who flipped!!

My mom’s a devout Catholic. I was grounded for a long time.

My girlfriend and I want to get back together. Her parents are okay with it.

How can I tell my mom that I like this girl a lot and don’t want things to end, without my mom getting mad?

- Grounded

Your parents know something you don’t, which is this: Just because you have the bodily equipment to have sex, does NOT mean you have the emotional stability and maturity to handle the ups and downs of a full-fledged relationship. 

Your relationship already includes both of you cheating, her lying, you getting very angry, her involved with “illegal stuff,” etc.

Don’t blame Mom’s religion; she’s being a responsible parent who recognizes you still need some boundaries on your freedoms. Your actions have consequences not only for you, but for your family. She doesn’t want you involved with anything illegal, or distracted from your education, or devastated by a girlfriend who lies.

Accept the period of grounding, and talk to your mom about how you can negotiate for some independence in the future.

My friend’s been dating a man through an internet dating site for a year; both were separated from their spouses. My friend is now divorced, but I’m unsure of her boyfriend’s status. 

Initially, my friend was apprehensive about introducing him to her friends and family as she was going through a difficult time with her separation/divorce and her two small children.

She revealed to me that this man had cheated on his wife for over a year.

I’m worried that she’s deep into something that won’t end well.

She says she loves him, but neither of them has expressed their feelings.

How do I advise her, when she clearly wants me to care about her relationship, yet I haven’t been allowed to meet the other half?

- Frustrated in British Columbia

You can be the good friend you are by expressing concerns while still saying supportive. But remember, she’s an adult and free to make mistakes if she so chooses. 

Speak up factually, without judgment – example: You suspect that there’s still something holding her back from introducing this guy to close people, and you find this worrying.

Her revelation of his former cheating indicates she’s worried about this possibility in him.

As a close pal, you feel that if you met him, you’d have a better sense of how he treats her. You can add that if he’s the one resisting being introduced to her family and friends that also has to be troubling her.

Then, let her talk, or change the subject if she wishes.

Time will soon reveal whether you need to be the friend with the big shoulder for her to cry on, or the one who gets to enjoy seeing her happy.

I’ve been dating a guy for four years; we’re both close to 50. 

I have five kids (three at home); he has none. My children know him and like him, as do my relatives. But he’s never introduced me to his family. The only time we spend together is behind closed doors or when he visits my home.

We’re from two different cultures.

He says he loves me but doesn’t commit to anything.

Our sex life is great but I want more from this relationship.

He’s been going through a divorce after four years separated.

- Should I Give Up?

You’re sex mates. That’s all that’s been achieved so far, and you have every right to know if more is in the cards. 

Be honest about what you want for the future. Better to risk a negative reaction now, than to hang on waiting for the unknown… which would eventually cause resentment, anyway.