My husband has a son, age ten, from a previous marriage, and together, we have a daughter, age two.

We’ve been together for seven years. He has a great, loyal personality, and is very trustworthy.

But recently, he told me straight out that he loves his son more than our daughter, because he’s known the boy longer.

My worry is this - when his son is 25, will he still love him more because he’s known him longer?

I don't want my daughter to sense that (less-loved) feeling from him as she grows. What a horrible thing for her to feel!

I’m very upset. I love his son as much as my daughter, though maybe differently, but the amount is the same. What do I do?

Unequal Love

Change the topic of discussion, and weigh your husband’s actions more than his foolish words. So long as he’s loving to his daughter, and spending some quality time with her, he’s showing his attachment.

He may’ve been trying to say something many divorced/widowed parents feel, which is that a child from a previous marriage needs some extra attention after experiencing the separation or loss.

Although, he does know his son’s personality, reactions, quirks, etc. better than those of his two-year-old daughter, it’s a silly comparison.

He may’ve been trying to be provocative, or just enjoying a theoretical debate, but it was sure to set you off, and you’ve responded with worries.

Be smarter, and avoid unnecessary stress in the relationship.

Unless you truly distrust his feelings for your daughter – and that doesn’t seem the case – drop this now. Also, forget about weighing how much or which way you love his son.

Just be a loving, responsible, involved parent with both kids and expect the same from him.

I’m a male, 29, recently graduated from University. I’m a Sri-Lankan Tamil and met a Sri-Lankan Tamil girl during my studies in our same field. She’s 22.

I’m in love with her (one-sided) and decided to propose to her through “my friend” whom I also met at school (this same girl).

This girl and I both travelled together by subway and worked together in group projects. She’s one of the best friends I ever met in my life.

She might not be interested in the proposal because of the age difference between us.

But I’m wondering how to keep the friendship at the same level even if the proposal is unsuccessful.

How can I handle the situation if the proposal doesn’t work out, as I have such high expectations/hopes?

Risky Proposal?

This could turn out wonderfully fun and successful, due to the cleverness of your asking “your friend” to propose for you…. to herself!

Or, it could confuse her – as it did me for awhile – and embarrass her in responding, if she doesn’t feel the same way.

A proposal is a very significant step, in any culture! Though you’re good friends, you also need to have some sense of whether she’s ready, at 22, for that commitment with anyone, and some sense of whether there’s any chemistry between you.

I say, hold off longer. Talk to her about the future… is she interested in further schooling, travel, working locally? Would she see herself in a long-term relationship for the right person, or not ready for that yet?

Get closer… compliment her, take her hand when walking, be aware of her responses. You’ll know soon enough whether you can go further and even ask “your friend” what she thinks of you two dating.

I sent a generous cheque to my cousin on the birth of his baby, four months ago.

I failed to receive an acknowledgement. However, I know the cheque was cashed.

I left a message recently asking him to confirm receipt, thinking it might prompt a response. I failed to hear back. Perhaps he expected a much fatter cheque?!

Is it wrong to expect a “thank you?” Should I just let it go? There’ll be future events with expectation of a gift. What should I do without embarrassing him or myself?

Cousinly Concern

A new baby can mean time-consuming adjustments and emotional upheaval, especially if the parents lack sleep.

It’s not polite, but reality, that some people take up to a year to send baby-gift thank-you’s.

You know he received the cheque, which was your main intent. Next time you see him, either mention gently that you realize they must’ve been overwhelmed… or forget it.