Recently, we invited two families with whom we’re very close, to join us at our recreational property for a long weekend’s camping.

We own dirt bikes and all-terrain vehicles that we were happy to share.

One family had their own ATV and wasn’t sharing it with any of the other children, which wasn’t an issue.

The other family didn’t own any motorsport machines, but were welcome to borrow/use ours.

However, these parents didn’t educate their children in riding safely, or step in when their children were being abusive and rather wild with our machines.

That job became my husband’s and mine, all three days.

We’d hoped that after several "strong reminders," they’d ask their children to ride safer and respect our property. They didn’t.

On the final day, two of their children had a very serious crash, and one required an emergency room visit. One machine was damaged badly.

My son, six, was devastated that his dirt bike was wrecked.

Thankfully, neither child involved suffered more than serious soft-tissue injuries. It could’ve been much worse.

The repairs cost $160. They offered to pay, but we felt it's a risk we’d taken on, by allowing others the enjoyment of our property.

I explained to my friend that while we LOVE spending time camping with their family, we could no longer allow them to ride on our machines unless someone from our family was behind the wheel/controls, because there’s too much risk involved.

My friend became upset, saying that I was punishing her children, and if they weren't allowed to ride, then they most likely wouldn’t join us for campouts anymore.

I was shocked! I struggled to be open and honest over this awkward topic. I felt that although feelings would be hurt, it wouldn’t end the friendship.

But she’s said she doesn't think she can get past it.

Was I wrong to relinquish the privilege to use our equipment after this accident? I’d made it clear we were not going to allow ANYONE (not just her family) to borrow the machines unless our family was at the controls.

How should I have approached this to preserve the friendship and keep hurt feelings at a minimum?

Confused Motorsport Owner

When dealing with potentially dangerous sports machines, both the rules and the consequences of ignoring them, should be spelled out AHEAD of use.

Your generosity overrode your wisdom. The practical truth is 1) some parents give up responsibility when they can get away with it; 2) some children, if unsupervised, behave carelessly or wildly; 3) you can like people as friends but when living/camping together, see characteristics that don’t mesh with your standards.

Think how this scenario could’ve gone, using water sport machines on a lake… In this season when hospitable people like you have friends with children visit cottages where jet-skis and boats are made available, the following is crucial:

Tell people - when you invite them - that there’ll be a training session before using any unfamiliar equipment, and that misuse or ignoring safety rules, means everyone loses the privilege.

Take time to make sure all parents and children understand safety information.

Remember, as owner you’re potentially legally liable if anyone is injured and sues. Of course, you must also have insurance for others’ use, outside of your own family.

Yes, you may lose this friend due to her embarrassment OR misunderstanding. The “punishing” of her children is her own doing, by not overseeing their safety.

But it’s also due to your expecting others to be as responsible as you are, without insisting on their being so.

I like this boy a lot, and I know he likes me back. But he deleted his Instagram account!

I don't know why, I think it's because of me.

I wanted to talk to him this summer, and Instagram’s the only way! I’m scared to talk to him in person. And I’m scared to phone him!

Cyber Boy Troubles

Since you’re young, this is a great time to learn what’s real, and what’s hyped-up anxiety over imaginary fears.

You have no idea why he deleted this account. Maybe it was a parental demand. Maybe he did it by mistake. Maybe lots of things….

Thinking it was because of YOU, either comes from your insecurity, or because you hounded him through that account. If so, that, too, comes from insecurity.

Back off. If this boy or any other likes you, he’ll come after you. If he doesn’t, then pestering him makes things worse.