My girlfriend of four years is returning home after a year’s internship overseas.

We’ll be moving in together within a few weeks, the lease starts February 1st.

I also intend to propose to her, but am waiting till a few months pass while we settle in to being together full-time.

I’m excited but nervous at the same time. I’m 26, she’s 24.

I know we’re in love and ready for this big step, but I want to do it right, so that the day we get engaged is the most memorable in her life so far.

I keep thinking of different plans – having family and friends arrive on the scene after I give her the ring… or being alone the whole time and surprising her in the midst of a romantic meal somewhere…

What do you think is the best way to propose?

Got the Ring

Getting engaged is already guaranteed to be the most memorable day of her life so far.

Note that I skipped to the part after you ask her to marry you, and she has said yes.

Why did I delay a bit? You want to be sure that your proposal comes at the best time for it… such as, waiting awhile after she’s arrived and seen her family and close friends as well as you.

Be happy for her to enjoy those first reunions.

She’ll then need a little adjustment time – to being back home, to seeing you often again, to do whatever’s needed to move in together.

If all that goes well, Valentine’s Day is one of the classic romantic dates for a proposal. But if you two would find that too cheesy, or things are too hectic (it’s a lot to handle after a long absence), wait till she’s more relaxed.

The way you decide to propose becomes your “story” together.

Don’t make it too complicated – like having flowers in the car trunk to surprise her with – they may freeze or wilt.

Or, planning an outdoor picnic or event when the weather’s too cold.

Say the words she needs to hear most – love, respect, cherish, admire – in ways that she knows you mean them.

If possible, include a memory about how you initially met, your first date, when you first knew you’d fallen in love with her.

This is the Big Time in couple lore, so give it your best without embarrassment or holding back.

Then bring out that ring, carefully. By the way, hiding it in a dessert is not a good idea as it can lead to a hospital visit.

My chatty mother-in-law is trying to bring me down, via my husband and my three-year-old child.

She feels so excited when she gets her son to stand beside her to fight me.

She laughs even louder to see me fall down.

She wants to grab her son’s and grandchild’s hearts, in order to bully me.

Desperate

You’re in an emotionally abusive situation, that’s physically harmful, too.

If possible, seek support from your own family, or local police, authorities, or a trusted faith leader.

You need to find a safe shelter for women at risk, through an Internet search for your area.

If you’re living with your mother-in-law, get to an Internet café or library where you can research what you need, privately.

Meanwhile, stay close to your child and comfort him/her, as this situation must be confusing and frightening to the youngster.

I worked for one company which had a very formal review process.

I had to sign off on my job description and my daily tasks.

I never got a copy of the review.

After two years, she got promoted for what I believe was an idea I brought forward. She also got a raise.

I never got a raise, so I left the company feeling totally unappreciated.

What are my rights regarding these reviews? Is there no feedback? Should I not get a copy? Or can I refuse to do them? Someone later told me I don’t have to sign off on them.

I'm currently at a small company but looking for another job.

Curious

You’ve been chewing on this bone of contention for some time.

But you’ve brought up a good point: every company is different and has it’s own review process policies, or none at all. Ask during job interviews about their process and check any labour laws in your jurisdiction.