My wife and I have been together for ten years, married for four. I found some text messages and emails from her to our daughter's coach two years ago. They'd been going on for awhile, and both exchanged very personal information.

I confronted her and she said nothing was "going on." Some of the emails were racy, and she couldn't answer why she'd sent these.

I had no proof anything else happened. I said I found it upsetting, and disapproved. It was difficult for me because I knew they went on tournaments and team fund-raisings together.

Over a year later, her behavior again appeared "not normal." I checked her email and found a photo sent to the same guy.

Her replies when confronted: 1. Are you spying on me? 2. It's not a naked picture. Again, she just said she didn't know why she did it, but admitted she's been in contact with this guy.

I love her, and she's said the same. But I can't read if anything is between the lines. I still have a gut feeling things are not as they seem.

Overreacting?

"Not normal" behaviour, and repeatedly vague responses ring loud alarm bells. You don't need proof; you need some way to have an open, honest discussion, which she's purposefully avoiding.

She's clearly had/having a close connection with this coach - he could be a confidante, an emotional affair, or an outright lover. She owes you some explanation. If he's really only a friend, you should be included in their circle. Start going to some tournaments and events as a supportive father. That action alone might reveal more "between the lines."

If the guy is a threat to your comfort in the relationship, you need to understand why she wants and pursues this. You have a right to decide what you want to do, if she carries on with this guy and yet wants to stay married to you.

I'm a single father with two grown daughters, ages 21 and 16, both living with me. My life revolves around them. My older daughter initially aspired to be a lawyer but changed her mind recently, wanting to do something she's truly passionate about.

She's been working summers, and never shies from work or taking responsibilities. I worry sometimes that she's decided not to become a lawyer because she doesn't want to work hard. Most of my cousins' or friends' children have taken some profession that leads to earning reasonably good money in a short time. Yet my daughter wants to work in different fields after obtaining her Bachelor of Arts and then go back to school again if it's needed.

Recently my younger daughter, in her 11th grade, switched two of her subjects from sciences to media and dancing. She also wants to explore her options and doesn't enjoy studying sciences. She's a very bright student.

I'm unsure whether I'm doing the right thing by encouraging these choices. In our culture (I'm from India) people always prefer professions and don't experiment with other stuff.

Worried Father

You're clearly an involved, loving father, but far too hard on yourself. You're their parental nurturer and support, but not their only resource for career direction. Enlist the help of those who are trained for this: High school guidance counselors, university course advisors, private career counselors, etc. Any and all of these can offer some pros and cons to your daughters about their current and future choices, the paths they lead to, and other options.

When my father was dying, my sister said she never saw me visit him. I visited regularly on my way home - the only time possible between working, raising youngsters, and caring for an elderly relative. My sister was visiting him at a different time.

At the funeral, all my brothers and brothers-in-law were pallbearers, but my common-law spouse was excluded, supposedly because he never divorced his first wife. But two of my brothers committed adultery so I didn't understand. After the funeral, at my mother's home, I was treated like I had the plague. My sister also accused me, wrongly, of saying something disrespectful about my father's casket. Five years later, I still can't get past this nasty attack.

Hurt

Your sister used the family's most vulnerable time, to get at you. It's about past sibling rivalry. Professional therapy can help you get past it, and over her.