My boyfriend of over two years, and I, have a 5-month son together, but he’s constantly talked about his ex.
He still has pictures of her. He’s says they’re "just friends”… so why all the secrecy? He won’t tell me what they talk about, it’s “his business.”
Recently, he tried to keep me from going into town with him. I went anyway and after half an hour at his father’s place, his ex turned up. I also noticed that his mobile phone bill was for $400.00 - way higher than usual - but he refused to show me the itemized account.
Yesterday, he said he’s sick of being here, and he’s moving back to his father’s home.
Can you tell me if there’s something going on between them, and if I’m wasting my time with this bloke?
You already know the answer, so pull up your inner strength and pride, and show the jerk the door. Then, spend your energies on working out decent financial support and amicable custody arrangements for your son.
What matters now is not whether, when, or how he was cheating – he was – but how you’ll work out raising this child co-operatively once you’re separated.
My sister, who married last year, has fought with her husband from the start.
As East Indians, their marriage was semi-arranged (parents brought proposals, but my sister ultimately chose). We’re very close to my parents; but my brother-in-law lived away from his family for several years and is much more independent.
He wants his time with his wife alone, and objects to her meeting us on our birthdays or religious holidays. He’s very dominating and she feels suffocated. He decides where she can go and when.
She’s tried to stand up for herself, but he has a bad anger problem and creates a commotion when she says anything. She worries that society will gossip about our parents over this.
He also expects her to be sweet and courteous to his parents.
My parents and I have told her that we’ll support her 100% if she leaves him. Yet she really loves him and can’t live without him. He loves her, too, but more possessively.
I can’t stand seeing my sister enduring all this pain.
Continue, along with your parents, to be the supportive family your sister needs. If you fear for her physical/emotional safety (which sounds very possible), your father should intervene. He can call on a community leader to speak to his son-in-law and recommend counselling for his anger, and for the couple.
The man’s own parents might be helpful, in urging their son to get help, to keep his wife from leaving him.
Stay close to your sister no matter how he tries to isolate her, as her concern about gossip might cause her to hide emotional or physical abuse. If necessary, call the police to intervene.
Who walks the bride down the aisle - me, the divorced father who’s paying for the wedding, or the stepfather who’s been on the scene since she’s a child?
It’s about The Bride, not The Bill.
If she has a good relationship with her step dad, and with you, then there are several possible compromises: 1) He walks her part-way, you the rest, or vice-versa; 2) You both walk on either side of her; 3) You march her, he is master of ceremonies and welcomes guests, or vice-versa.
Most important, she decides which compromise works best for her and family harmony.
I’m a gay male, 19, from a rural area, who never had a relationship nor dated. I thought it was because not many guys around here are open.
Friends said things would work out when I started college in the city, but nothing has happened. I believe I’m destined to a life filled with loneliness and bitterness.
Do I continue to wait on that "right guy" to come along, or accept the fact that some people aren’t meant to find anyone.
You’re only “destined” to choose the life you want and learn how to go after it.
Find new ways to meet people – e.g. join an activity group at college, or pursue a new skill, for the purpose of enjoyment, not dating.
When involved in doing something that you like, you become more interesting to people around you.
Attend gay-oriented events in the city, but seek friendship without desperation.
Tip of the day:
When cheating becomes obvious, stop snooping and take action.