I'm 24, married to a great man, and have two beautiful children. Two months ago, I got a new job which I love.
It’s getting me the money to support my family’s needs. My husband’s also well-employed.
Shortly into my new job, my boss called me to his office. I discovered then that the boss was my ex-boyfriend from university. We had the same classes then, ate lunches together. We even got together and had sex because we loved each other so much.
Those memories came back and I realized I still loved him, even though I’m married.
Our university romance ended when, right after we’d had sex, he said he’d cheated on me and that it was over. I was depressed for weeks.
I never called or talked to him after that day. Now he was right in front of me along with the memories.
He asked how I was doing and about my life. I never told him that I’m married or have children. I didn’t have the guts to tell him.
A couple of days later, he called me back to his office. He said that he wanted to get together again. I said that I didn’t want to lose my job. But he said he’d guarantee that I’d keep my job.
So we got together, started talking and hanging. I never told my husband about it. I was too ashamed.
But I then couldn’t reveal that I’m married because he’d definitely fire me. I started to fall in love with him again even more than last time.
Some time passed and he called me to his office, so I went over. He wanted to give me a raise. I was happy about that. But then he said he wanted more than just our friendship.
So we had sex together in order to get that raise (and not get fired if I refused). It felt good after that. I wanted to do it again and again.
One day my husband told me that I wasn’t being myself. He thought that we should have sex so he can make me happy. I agreed, but while having sex I kept on thinking of my boss and how if my husband knows my secret it’d ruin my life forever.
I don’t know what to do.
Double Trouble
Get a grip! You certainly knew right from wrong when much younger, when you learned that your boyfriend cheated on you.
Well, he’s the same selfish player, this time manipulating you as an employee for sex, not love. He’ll drop you for another when he chooses. Besides, you’ve left out whether he’s married, too.
Meanwhile, you’re the wife of a “wonderful man” and mother of his two children.
Reality check: You have to stop the affair before your home life blows up.
Tell your boss you’ve made a mistake because of the past. You’re married, have kids, responsibilities, and financial needs. You can’t continue working there much longer, but he owes you a top-notch reference for another job.
I know you won’t want to believe that you should tell your husband why you’re looking for another job. Because you were once devastated by this “ boss,” you prefer thinking this just happened that you’ve met and fallen in love again.
No, you let it happen, and it’ll eventually come out in the open, devastating your husband, perhaps your children, too.
Come clean, explain it best you can, and hopefully your husband, who’s already semi-suspicious, will be forgiving.
I'm a woman living in fear as a victim of domestic violence, and have a disabling condition from what I’ve experienced.
It's very hard for victims of violence to survive, and for many, to ever have a normal life again.
While various governments say they want to improve the system, it takes a long time, and requires a lot of people to speak out.
I’ve been advised to just stay home and stay safe. Police patrol here daily to watch for my abuser.
It's hard to stand up and fight for things likes property and protection as you have to see the person again. It puts you at further risk of danger. Many women suffer in silence, and live in fear.
Please Boost Awareness
Answer the call, dear readers. If you’ve experienced domestic violence and/or have ideas to help women in these situations, email me your story to publish, anonymously of course.
Tip of the day:
Affairs don’t just “happen.” Accept your own part and deal with the consequences.