I'm a male, 32, professional. I've been living with my parents for past five years, paying $1500 monthly towards their mortgage.

The understanding was they’d return my money when they sell. The townhouse has since doubled in value.

I've met the love of my life, but my parents aren't very accepting. I've tried to get them to sell the house. Instead, they’ve stalled.

So my girlfriend and I are moving in together to move forward with our own lives. My mom declared they’d NOT attend the wedding. My girlfriend isn’t welcome in the house.

In the Chinese culture, it’s very common for the eldest son (me) to take care of the parents. But I feel I’m not responsible for their inability to support a mortgage. They’re in their 60's.

They’re now treating me as a persona non grata.

My girlfriend has made several gestures to get to know them. I want to leave on good terms, and still love them as my parents.

Eldest Son’s Dilemma

Momentum’s on your side. You found love, and are mature and independent enough to decide where and with whom to live.

Your parents are being unfair; you’ve been a helpful son. You may not get the money back if they refuse to move. Fortunately, you can probably manage without it, financially.

Your girlfriend’s taken the high road by attempting to know them. She should continue. Often these rifts soften if/when a grandchild’s born.

Tell your parents you love them and that they raised you to also value the family you create for your future.

I'm a girl, 14. At school, I have a group of three other close friends, but there’s a girl who basically has no other friends so she literally sticks to us.

She already moved classes last year because she didn’t have friends in her other class. Every break, two of us try to ditch her, but the other two are left with her.

She’s causing a lot of fights and arguments between us, and we all hate her, but whenever we try to tell her not to hang out with us, we feel too mean and we just trail off.

I’m pretty sure she knows we hate her but she just won’t leave.

Fifth Wheel

I’m sick at heart hearing how unbelievably cruel young girls can be, as if you all pretend to know nothing about the effects of bullying that have driven some lonely young teens to suicide.

Imagine what it feels like being “hated.” Yes, it can happen to you, unfairly, from being wrongly accused of something like repeating a secret, and then from being shunned.

Suddenly, no one believes you, you’re an outcast, and former “friends” mock and avoid you.

Even if you can’t imagine that, your parents, teachers, principal, and the excluded girl’s parents CAN. They’ll catch on to what your clique’s doing to this girl who simply wants acceptance as a person.

Police can become involved too, because bullying’s increasingly being looked at as a crime, calling for more than a lecture or school suspension.

YET, you’ve written me without asking a question.

That’s a good signal that you’re uncomfortable but unsure of what to do. I suspect you were raised differently from this behaviour.

Speak up. Say that it’s not cool, that she isn’t harming you. Say that when others see the meanness, they see you as followers, not girls who can be admired. Walk away from the bullying. Be your better self, talk to this girl.

My grandmother, 91, recently died. She’d pre-arranged her services, didn’t want a wake or funeral. There’ll be a family-only graveside service to bury her ashes.

Our small family, including spouses, includes only 12 people. My husband doesn’t want to go.

He’s previously refused to attend any wake or funeral service for anyone. He says if people are judgmental about who’s missing, they’re focusing on the wrong thing.

At a large gathering it wouldn't bother me, but among only 12, I feel both my relationship and me will be judged. How do I explain his absence without sounding disrespectful to my family, or my husband?

Uncomfortable Mourner

Honesty isn’t disrespectful, as in “My husband doesn’t attend funerals, ever. That’s his choice.”

However, there’s something being kept from you: Why?

Have the conversation some other time – losses when young? Fear of death? If no reason, it’s immaturity… partners are meant to support each other through life events.