I’m a 55-year-old male, never married and never had any children. I always thought I would get married and have a family, but I never met the right woman, and it just never happened.

My parents were much older when they had me, and I’m an only child, so their care in their senior years fell to me. Fortunately, I made very good money early on in my career, and with no partner or children, I was able to save quite a lot. And, lucky for me, my parents had saved enough to cover all their needs and then some. So, I was able to focus on them in their last years.

My mother passed away about five years ago, and my father just recently passed away. I had long since downsized them into assisted-living facilities, so once my father passed, the estate was easily closed. Except an apartment and a house in the Florida Keys.

This winter I chose to spend the three long months closing them up, thinking I would sell, as both homes are in complexes mainly inhabited by the elderly. The house was harder as I wanted to get rid of everything, but with the help of a real estate agent, I thought I would manage. Only, I fell in love with the agent, and she me, and now I find myself wondering if I should finalize the sale, or if I should move down here permanently to be with this woman.

She is a widow with four children, none of whom have grown and flown, yet. Am I cut out for an instant family?

Family Man?

Well, lucky you! Look, whether, like Drake, you believe in a higher power (“God’s Plan”) or some other form of life plan, our lives all take a path. I believe in a mixture of what we do every day to steer our path, and what we’re “meant” to do. That’s me. So, I like to believe that, though you had thought you would marry and have a family when you were younger, it didn’t happen for a reason. But it’s happening (or has the potential to happen) now.

Four kids and a partner is a big jump, but no one expects you to replace their father or even be a father from the start. Parenting is a role you grow into, and it’s different for every person and with every child. If you don’t need to sell the properties immediately, and it would be helpful for you to keep them while you see where this relationship is going, then don’t sell.

Take it slow with this woman, cut out the professional slant to your relationship, and go with the flow. See it through until you’re either together, or it doesn’t work.

I wish you only happiness.

I’ve just moved into a condo complex that I thought would be better for me as a single senior. I have a fabulous home, with a big porch and a small yard with room for an outdoor couch, a BBQ and a small table. I relish my time outdoors and was swayed by these two amenities.

But now that spring is coming, the outdoor maintenance is non-stop and noisy. I can barely keep my windows open! What do I do?

Trapped

Talk to your super or building manager. Ask if this maintenance goes on indefinitely, or if there is an end date. Also find out what the bylaws are concerning maintenance and noise in your neighbourhood. Hopefully, it’s simply seasonal and you’ll be able to enjoy your outdoor space when the weather is better. If not, you’ll have to look at your alternatives.

FEEDBACK Regarding eating disorders (Feb. 5):

Reader – “I attended an eating disorders clinic 40 years ago, where I learned about the psychological problems of sufferers. I read medical textbooks because anorexia nervosa was quite rare and bulimia was rarely even mentioned. I've concluded it's not just unhappiness that's behind eating disorders; it's anger. Sometimes young women have no way, or aren’t allowed, to express their feelings.

“They CAN control their weight and what they put into their bodies. The first time a girl (usually female) loses five to 10 pounds and is congratulated on how great she looks, she’ll often think she should continue. Thus begins the obsession with the scale.

“There are SO many reasons these (mostly) young people are unhappy. Fear of adult responsibility looming. Some were sexually abused and can only express their anger through starvation. Conversely, young overeaters who basically eat their feelings.

“It’s very complicated and different for each person.”