I’ve been widowed for one year, have two young adult children still at home; my life is busy, my friends supportive, but I’m PETRIFIED of being trapped in the “Widow's Zoo!”
Everywhere I go - church, outings, a singles group – I’m surrounded by women. They’re fantastic women, but it’s not enough.
I’m late-50’s attractive, intelligent and financially secure, but I lack confidence and feel defeated.
During my husband’s illness, we lived as friends, but I’m still a sensual woman.
Lately, I’ve been “hit on” by older (75-80!) guys at church. Scary.
I just hope to meet a good person to share good times and make the most out of what's left in life.
I’m missing intimacy and physical love, which makes me feel vulnerable.
There’s a man with whom there’s a strong mutual attraction, but our meetings are infrequent and discreet. I don’t want to be someone’s closet lover.

- Niagara Falls

Here’s what’s really scary – not recognizing the REAL “Widow’s Zoo,” which is that group of women who get locked into “discreet” relationships with men who are married or dallying with them, precisely because they’re vulnerable widows.
End it. And stop being petrified, of anything other than living life with an open mind, not a panicked one.
Experts say it takes at least a year to absorb the major loss of a partner’s death and start to move forward, yet you’ve already picked up a wary attitude toward being with good women, while accepting the company of a seemingly bad (cheating/ hiding?) man.
You have far too much going for you to start off on such shaky footing… not to mention that young adults at home see it all.
Consider getting grief counselling to get past feeling defeated by this life experience; enjoy those fantastic women, and look for ways to expand your life with real interests.
Decent men will appear, when you’re not so anxious about it.

I’m in a new relationship, living together for just two months; we’re both mid-late 40s.
He’s a chef, so works crazy hours; I have a “normal”-hours job. I’ve been unusually easy-going about his schedule, and don’t change too much of my daily routine to fit in with his, as there’s no need.
He’s never available for social outings, dinner invitations, or lazy weekend mornings.
I want this relationship to work, but he’s so tired from the job, that the desire for little else than sleeping is frustrating my womanly needs.
Occasionally, I’ll air my frustrations, but am hanging in.
I don’t foresee much changing regarding his work schedule. We see each other an hour in the morning and one or two at night.
How long should I continue to be frustrated but accommodating?

- Missing Out

Stop the charade – you’re acting out “accommodating” but doing a slow, dangerous burn inside that’ll eventually erupt.
This man somehow found the time between sauce-making and sleep to initially woo you; undoubtedly, you had sex, then. Now’s the time for both of you to wake up and negotiate this relationship together, if it’s too last.
You both have needs; being a chef is his career. But he has to weigh having a life with making money – he can take a day off (and should, if only for creative energy).
You can figure out ways to adjust more to his schedule. Millions of families with shift workers have learned to do this, and so can you two.

I'm 21 and I’m a shy guy. When it come to talking to females, I don’t know what to say to them.
I know what I want to say in my head but I can’t get it out. So what can I do to get over my shyness?

- Stumped

Like yourself, first.
Shy is appealing, a lot more so than brash, arrogant, obnoxious, etc. Many women relax more easily and appreciate it when a guy they meet doesn’t come on too strong, and just wants to get to know them. So, place a higher value on your natural inclination to be that guy, and build your confidence by no longer seeing “shy” as a negative.
Next, start practicing your conversation skills with women you know, of all ages – relatives, friends, neighbours, etc.
Females you want to eventually date are no different than the women with whom you can chat easily.