My wife of 12 years is a homemaker; we have two children, 8 and 4. Her relationship with my parents has been up and down, as she feels she was never accepted.
      Recently, they’ve been more distant with her, since she avoids them. When I try to bring the kids to visit them, she either makes an excuse or downright refuses.
      My parents, too, have made little effort to visit, but they sense her coldness. My father died in the spring after battling cancer for five years. Not understanding that my mom’s been under enormous stress, my wife doesn’t like the way she was "treated," but cannot articulate this.       
      Instead, she uses the kids as "pawns," indicating that if my mom wants to see the kids, she must come to our house which she has, occasionally.           
      My wife does things with her family with the kids … why can't I? Do I need to get divorced to prove my point?
      - Distressed

Divorce is a LAST option, unless you and wifey foolishly stay polarized. There’s fault on all three sides – including you for accepting this Cold War so long.    
      You must do things with your children and your family; but you need to convince and encourage your wife that you want her along, and dearly want her to feel accepted, just as Mom wants to feel that from her.    
      However, since she’s shown little caring for your feelings for family, even through your father’s cancer, it’s apparent that some of the problem is part of a power struggle between you two.      
      Ask yourself: What other areas of power is your wife fighting for and feeling that you have the control? Her actions reflect great insecurity, more about your relationship than you’ve realized.      
      Marital counselling’s an important step to take together - suggest it, NOT because there’s something wrong with her, but because you want to put your marriage on a better footing in order to deal with any problems that arise. And keep bringing Mom over to visit.

I’m 32, immigrated to Canada with my ex-husband 14 years ago. It was an arranged marriage. I had children in my early-20s. The marriage ended four years ago. I haven't dated after my divorce.      
      I went back to school and have a full-time job I enjoy. I’m also a busy parent and volunteer at a local community center.      
      I’m an open-minded Muslim with Canadian exposure and although I’m open to dating, somehow I feel that Canadian men might be reluctant to date a Muslim Canadian wearing hijab. I’m interested in meeting someone to share and spend some time. Any realistic advice?
      - In Hope

You’re creating “roadblock” assumptions before you even test the waters. I’m guessing it’s a cover for anxiety about dating in general, since it’ll be new to you.      
      It’s true that some men and women bring fixed ideas to seeking companions … they only want to meet people from a certain religious or ethnic background. But many people are, like you, open-minded and eager to make a connection with someone who’s mostly interested in good company and shared fun.     
      You have a ready-made network to use: Alert your friends, co-workers and fellow volunteers that you’re ready to meet unattached men.    
      Since they know you, they’ll naturally do the “screening” you’re concerned about, when they describe you. Then, take your time getting to know these dating “candidates.”     
      As a newbie on the social scene, you want to be alert as well as accepting.

My unruly female neighbour is a menace, yelling constantly. When I was up a ladder hanging my granddaughter’s snowflakes on the tree, she yelled that they’re tacky and cheap.      
      She finds ways to irritate others and me. She’s 40-plus, anorexic for years, has a young son and lives off her mother solely. I understand she's ill, however, she’s now causing dangerous situations, i.e. the ladder.      
      I’ve spoken to her only to tell her to keep away from family and me, and don’t ask my help again when mother falls down drunk. Other ideas how to handle this?
      - Upset

She’s ill, seemingly friendless, living with an alcoholic, dependent, raising a child … your neighbour has far more troubles than you.     
      I understand that you were frightened. However, you could’ve come down the ladder, explained how much you cherished the snowflakes, and even asked her if she wanted one for her son. Kindness goes a lot further than shunning.