Dear Readers – Many of you responded with stories of your own heartfelt grief and advice over pet loss, to a reader’s account of her beloved dog’s fatal attack by a pit-bull, whose owners were cruel with their animals (Mar.14):

Reader #1 – “I had a little dog for 11 years after my wife died, he was my constant companion. He started to decline at 14, and I went into denial. Finally, last November, he couldn’t use his back legs anymore. But he wanted to be with me, dragging them along.

“I stayed with him as the vet put him down. I wanted to pick him up and run anywhere, but I stayed. It was terrible… tears, anger, and guilt. People who don’t have a loved pet and don’t know about unconditional love and company do not understand.

“Thank you for the chance to write my feelings to someone.”

Reader #2 – “It will take quite a while for your reader to get over a terrible experience like that, and with time, the hurt will be less. I liked your advice about doing something in memory of the dog, e.g. adopt a shelter animal and give it a loving home as a tribute to the dog that was lost, if he or she feels ready. Never to replace their pet, but to love another and save it from death.”

Reader #3 – “I had the awful decision to put my four dogs to sleep over a period of three years (due to old age).

“They were my whole world after my husband of 30 years left me. It took me over a year to stop crying over the loss.

“I realize now that I should’ve got another one right away. Instead, I waited for several weeks before I did.

“It just gives depression a chance to get in.”

Reader #4 – “I suggest she adopt a dog who’s waiting to be saved and in need of a loving home. It’s so gratifying to see a soul that was abused/terrorized/abandoned/traumatized - whatever the background - to be given love and security. It’s a challenge too, to give another life to a pet.

“In return, the dog will show the love and appreciation in many ways which make us proud and humble. This will ease the pain, although one will never forget your loving pet who passed away.”

Reader #5 – “She could contact a pet-loss hotline:

Ellie – As example, University of Guelph has a pet-loss support hotline, manned by students trained to listen and support callers experiencing grief.

They also provide information resources for veterinarians, pet owners, and concerned friends and relatives of pet owners regarding pet loss, euthanasia, and memorializing of pets.

http://www.ovc.uoguelph.ca/petloss/about/

A book resource -

http://www.amazon.ca/When-Your-Pet-Dies-Remembering/dp/187965136X

Reader #6 – “When we lost our much-loved Redbone Coonhound, we made a donation to the Ontario Veterinary College Pet Trust Fund in her memory.

“There’s also the "Farley Foundation" which helps people in need pay for vet services - this is administered by the Ontario Veterinary Medical Association. We mark her death annually with a donation.

“The Farley Foundation was named after "Farley," the sheepdog, in Lynn Johnston’s comic strip, “For Better or For Worse.”

Reader #7 – “Wings is one of a number of pet-loss support groups, this one in the Chicago, Illinois area. The Anti-Cruelty Society of Chicago hosts Working Through Pet Loss support groups.

“The writer could consider forming such a group with the help of a veterinarian association, in her local area.”

Clarification:

In my March 14 column, I responded to the grieving dog-lover:

“With traumatic loss such as yours — sudden and violent — you feel powerless. The fact that it’s a pet, is for you no different than a child, because you felt the dog was in your care and your responsibility.”

This was directed specifically to one person, who didn’t mention having a partner or children to share her despair. So, for her only, and because she “fell apart instead of finding a way to save him,” I commiserated that it felt to her like a loss of a child.

However, though I’m a dog-lover, I do not personally feel the loss of a pet is actually the same as the lifelong agony of losing a child. Some readers interpreted my meaning that way, and I regret that.

All life is a gift, but for me, our connection to our children’s lives, stands on its own, beyond all others.