I'm male, and had a random hook-up with two strangers (males) on the street; I went to their place. Without my awareness, they taped our sexual encounter.

I realized it soon after, since one of the guys was busy fixing the wires. I left in a hurry without confronting them about it. I was terrified.

I went to the police who refused to file my complaint since I didn't have proof of anything. I think those guys were professionals and scammers. I'm unsure what they do with the sex tape.

If it's ever posted online or sold, what legal options do I have? I have their address and the name of one of the men.

I know I've been wrong and want to straighten the mess.

Losing Sleep

Along with legal options, consider too, the possible personal risks involved.

If one person had the opportunity to go through your wallet or if you were open about yourself, be aware that any action on your part can cause a reaction from them.

Meanwhile, ask a lawyer what's involved in getting an injunction against the tape being distributed or sold, since it was made without your consent. You may want to pursue the matter, to prevent them from further scams. If the sex tape is already out there, it'd be a brave and altruistic move on your part, but at least have your unfortunate mistake serve a worthwhile purpose.

Also, get checked medically, for any other unwanted results.

I've been divorced for ten years, with four grown kids. Recently, my ex-wife and my daughter, 22, surprised me with an invitation to my daughter's wedding to "R" - a guy she met in Dominican Republic in 2008, during a one-week trip. She saw him again for one week in 2009.

Concerned, I asked questions; they said he has four years' college education, and his father owns a cocoa plantation

(which they never saw). He'd said he was a resort cook and driver but got fired due to some incident.

R. told them not to talk to anyone but his sister and his father because "Cuban, Mexican, D.R. and all other guys are bad and dangerous." He advised them only to buy from stores he recommended. Though my ex paid for all excursions and meals, he borrowed money (paid it back). He said he worships my daughter, and that her mother looked "like her sister."

My ex is paying for their text messages and collect calls. I'm seeing red flags; she thinks I'm being negative. I'm worried sick about my daughter's future. I love her, but she won't talk about it now. My ex is adamant about Raul's family tales being true. My other children say, "let them learn the hard way."

Feeling Helpless

Don't let any old conflicts between you and your ex confuse this serious matter: It's about your daughter, period. She needs to know and understand the implications of marrying this man, if she expects to sponsor him to move to North America.

Your ex must also have this information in hand, since there are financial obligations involved for a number of years, and it seems your daughter can't afford much alone.

If he doesn't want to emigrate, your daughter needs to see not only the family plantation but also any other means of support he offers, and to contemplate what her lifestyle would be there.

Proceed logically and gently. You're dealing with a young woman in an exciting romance, with the backup of her flattered mother.

My daughter-in-law was my son's high school sweetheart, close to me for years. They have two children and live nearby, but since the first child's birth (he's two and a half), we get to see them every two weeks for an hour and a half. Her mother sees them at least twice weekly and gets to baby-sit. We've offered repeatedly, never been asked.

My DIL won't talk to us unless she wants something. We've helped them out financially, emotionally and physically whenever asked.

She says the distance is because I don't like her mother. But her mother doesn't like us, and doesn't want to share the family with us.

Excluded

Talk to your son. Find out if there's been a misunderstanding with her mother; if so, apologize for your part, and invite the young couple, children, AND her mother to your place. Build a better relationship rather than wait for it to come to you.