My mother-in-law’s always been the partying, rowdy type. I’m a quiet homebody. She hadn’t a close relationship with her son.

He moved to his aunt’s house at 12.

My fiancé loved her nonetheless. He died two years ago. She immediately listed things she wanted – clothes, jewelry, and personal items. I gave her everything but his 1960 Mustang.

He’d intended giving it to our son, now three, which I’ll do.

She posted on Facebook how I was greedy. People saw me as a villain.

I was grieving hard and missed the first appointment for funeral arrangements. She went and became then-executor of his estate.

I was refused his ashes. I had to prove that I was the real executor and my son the next of kin.

She said she’d only hand over the ashes if I gave her the car. She even involved the police.

I didn't want our son not to be in his grandmother’s life, so I finally forgave her.

We visited his family a year later, only got to see her for an hour.

She later wrote on FB that she’d soon visit us, and go through my fiancé’s things.

After giving her his things, most everything else had been donated or given away.

I then blocked her off FB and she went on a lying rampage that I wasn't allowing her to see her grandson.

His family also now seems to hate me.

I feel terrible for my son.

Emotionally Beaten 

Stay strong and distant for your son’s sake, and your own.

The woman’s toxic, which the family also knows. They’re likely badgered to support her or get the same treatment.

Your fiancée’s aunt was his guardian, so contact her periodically with a photo and news of your son. Keep memory of the boy’s father alive through your own stories about him.

But be wary of giving too much information, lest this narcissistic, controlling “grandmother” come swooping into his life.

My niece is bright, accomplished, and hard working. She’s only had one boyfriend in her life – her high-school sweetheart - and married him last year.

He has no personality, few special skills, and little ambition. He mostly helps her with her growing business, but I feel she’s carrying him along.

Now she’s talking about starting a family, but since she’s only 25 I’m hoping she’ll wait longer. I’m also hoping she’ll wake up and realize she has a weak partner, and want to leave him before she’s stuck with children.

She loves and trusts me (her mother’s distracted with her third husband). I’ve kept silent on this topic too long. How do I influence her without her getting angry and distancing from me?

Wiser and Worried

The “wiser” judgements of their elders don’t always impress young people in love. Your niece has seen her mother divorce twice, so she may believe that hanging on to someone works better over the long run.

And sometimes, that does happen. But your concerns are honest, and you can raise them if you do so kindly, gently, and without negative criticisms you can’t take back.

Ask her how she sees raising a family while building her business… will her partner be a househusband? Is he a family-oriented guy who grew up in a loving environment?

Present an interested conversation in which she doesn’t have to answer you directly, but you’ll have raised thoughts she’ll ponder on her own.

Then back off, and support her whatever direction she takes. You’re important in her life.

My dad has a very bad temper.

He gets angry over the smallest stuff and creates a big dramatic scene. When my little brother spilled salt on the table, he made us clean the entire house.

He’d told my brother to pour the salt over the sink… but it was just salt.

His temper’s out of control. If this problem isn't resolved soon, I just might leave his house.

We, his children, aren’t the issue; it’s him. And now my little brother even has a similar temper.

Angry Home

Your father’s anger has an emotionally abusive side. If it gets worse, or includes dangerous physical outbursts, speak to a trusted relative, school counselor, or even police.

You can get immediate help and referrals from free distress lines like Kids Help Phone (1-800-668-6868).

Meanwhile, try to help your little brother understand that reacting with temper only worsens situations.

Meanwhile, work towards your own independence.