You can't change an alcoholic… but an alcoholic can change.

Life has pleasant surprises, at any age, once you're open to them.

Make time for family, or risk missing out on the fun, love, and emotional support.

If you won't talk about your sexual relationship, you shut down the emotional connection to improve it.

Participating in wedding events requires knowing what you can afford.

Don't try to "fix" someone before you've built trust together.

Small annoyances sometimes reflect bigger relationship problems.

Accepting being "the secret" in someone's life means accepting second-class status.

A longtime deadbeat parent/spouse doesn't change easily or quickly.

If snooping feels necessary, think ahead to HOW, and IF you're able, to handle the information you find.

Revealing buried family secrets can cause far more disruption than bonding.

When personal standards differ widely, you both need to love each other enough to find compromises.

Read the future from a partner's consistent NO to what you want.

Out-ing someone requires having real knowledge and knowing the partner wants the truth.

Changing from your past mistakes takes time and visible effort, to be trusted.

Your past regrets don't always interest others.

Living with anger and bitterness is unhealthy for everyone involved.

Romance takes time, not just dreams.

When someone does an unpredictable flip-flop on the relationship, the change lies with him or her, not you.

Fear of flying is a phobia that often requires professional help to surmount.

Accept when a relationship is truly over. Otherwise, you only prolong your own pain and inability to move forward.

There are many after-effects of an affair, which, if you didn't think of them beforehand, need addressing NOW.

Getting past an affair is possible, through much effort. See Part Two tomorrow.

After receiving shabby treatment for years, change has to be visible and believable.

If you have a strong belief system, seek a like-minded network.

When one partner's feelings are much stronger than the others, discuss and try to compromise.

Rejection and betrayal are deep emotional cuts that require healing time and thoughtful self-preservation.

Don't dramatize dates that don't work out into  "rejections."

Being "willing" to have a baby, isn't the same as being READY to raise one.

Relationships that involve another's children require a willingness to adapt.

Waiting for acceptance delays your own life.

Being sensitive to another's feelings sometimes requires adjusting your behaviour.

A wide gap in attitudes about personal finances can keep a couple apart in other ways, too.

Lying hurts relationships, period.

A private friendship with another man would upset most husbands.

Repeated roughhouse as "affection" often signals greater pain ahead.

When a partner has to cool some togetherness for work reasons, make your free time special.

Some explosive family issues require careful probing, not accusations.

A once-convenient relationship can become uncomfortable for all involved.

Sometimes, doubts about a relationship are well deserved.

Bring a ready willingness to absorb what a therapist tells you.

A dating relationship will evolve naturally if you don't rush to label it.

When a family secret (that's true) threatens to explode, speak up first.

A divided attitude toward sex in marriage may indicate deeper problems that require professional help.

If you leave a relationship in limbo for too long, it'll end badly.

Emotional affairs steal energy from a marriage, as much or more than sexual ones.

When you know it's over, further discussion won't change things.

When a partner changes noticeably, probe the cause before you make a life-altering decision.

Prepare ahead for "Plan B" steps to take for family events that threaten to become embarrassing.

Before a relationship reaches the breaking point, get pro-active with different approaches… if possible.