Tip of the Day Archive
Marital disagreements are not unusual. Learning to manage them respectfully and leave them behind, is essential for a relationship to remain loving.
Sibling feuds are emotionally draining, difficult to reverse. Regarding a complex unfairness issue, seek legal help.
When divorce upends a child’s life, the remaining parent at home must seek counselling help before moving in someone new.
When a very close friend distances from personal contact with you, for reasons unknown, don’t jump to conclusions. Give him/her the benefit of the doubt.
Supporting an adult child’s major decisions is how parents and offspring stay connected.
Humour is a gift to yourself and others, but not to those it also mocks/hurts.
“Mean Girls” was a 2004 movie. In 2020, no one should tolerate a “friend’s” repeated meanness.
For a partner with painful past memories of witnessing abuse, conflict is a trigger. Therapy CAN help, if it’s wanted.
Call greater interest in a “friend” than being with a spouse, an affair – emotional/selfish/unfair.
Don’t let unhappy memories determine your present choices. Avoid discussing them with critics.
Don’t be fierce to just prove a point… be “fierce” in what you care most about and the values you uphold.
After a divorce, both ex-spouses are still their kids’ parents. New partners should accept this naturally.
Your own self-respect is too important to let someone carelessly and uncaringly harm it.
When family conflict creates chaos, stop yelling/panicking and go calm/rational. Choose the response/choice that moves you forward.
Sometimes the line between close friends/love gets blurred. Don’t avoid a deeper relationship through fear of commitment.
Someone who hasn’t fully grieved their former spouse’s death, may feel conflicted about their new relationship.
When others are acting against you, focus on caring for/being for yourself and your most pressing needs.
Twins generally have a special relationship bond. Serious divides should be handled thoughtfully by parents and may also benefit from professional counselling if the twins agree.
Stay positive. When things are going well, enjoy.
Divorce can be very painful, but there IS life afterwards, sometimes a better life. Even with counselling help, it’s up to you to “move forward” creating your own future, taking yourself to places, activities, and people you trust.
A reader’s resources for parents undergoing marital stress due to separation issues, abuse: https://familyservicetoronto.org
https://www.torontocentralhealthline.ca/displayservice.aspx?id=171096
A new relationship with a widow or widower, needs to be given time and also caring consideration for the other’s loss and their ongoing grieving.
Relationship styles and attitudes that suit some couples, don’t always suit other people’s social or moral judgements. The best reaction is to leave their personal business to themselves.
Support and comforting words may soften someone’s grief. But, if their reaction is very worrying and long-lasting, professional help is needed.
Sex isn’t a necessity in every marriage, but being rejected sexually can open the door toward divorce.
Greed can destroy families. Keep your other supports close.
Don’t let doubts cloud your most important relationship. Ask directly what’s going on.
Never accept from a relationship partner what you believe are lies and repeated cheating. Show self-respect and plan a better life without them.
There’s a time for giving and receiving understanding and empathy, both for the people you wish to inform of your difficulties, and for yourself to accept.
If a relationship ends without explanation, trust your own strength of character. It’s missing in the other person.
Give a closed-off partner a reality check of options: Counselling or Divorce court.
When a would-be partner doesn’t discuss something directly involving you, slow down the “dating” to reconsidering.
“Family-positive” attitudes can renew healthy relationships between divorced parents and children.
When a spouse has played fast and loose for their own pleasure, choose a future of which you can be proud.
Both partners fear further turbulence, but couple’s counselling may help open their minds and hearts.
When adult children control access, connect with grandkids whichever way’s accepted. Strong opinions are best unmentioned, unless serious problems arise.
Stories of grief can provide insights towards reaching acceptance, and even hope for the future.
Adult children’s marital problems are their business. Tread very carefully, unless discussion ensues.
Consider online dating contact as an opportunity, not a done deal. Use your sense of self-worth to proceed slowly with eyes/ears wide open.
Whenever adults are aware of innocent children needing their safety assured, they can turn their compassion to looking into possible solutions, and help improve the children’s current lives and futures.
Never accept bullying. Trying to change your own responses to someone who’s toxic towards you, gives license for them to persist. End contact or stay distanced.
Sex can be enjoyed into age 70’s and older, through openness, creative solutions, and educating oneself through research and good health checks.
New ways to consider jobs and career-building have similar approaches to your relationship and personality needs.
A parent obsessing about a healthy, happy adult son, is likely lonely, and seeking/needing attention to her own health and well-being.
Grief is a process, difficult but insistent, eventually necessary and helpful.
When there’s a hint of better times becoming possible even during the pandemic, think positively and be helpful in whatever way you can.
When there’s an ugly breach in a family, a wedding is often the event that reveals it.
When feeling emotional conflict, listen to your inner voice.
There’s a responsibility to offer support and caring when a serious issue affects a long-time friend. But if a couple is involved, stay out of the middle.
Start practicing the relationship goals that you’ve defined, still in time for Valentine’s Day, if you want to get cuffing and cuddling with someone you can trust!