How can I teach my grandchildren about gratitude and gift receiving? I taught my children at a very young age. Please and thank you were always used in our house. It was a no-brainer.
My children have grown up into confident, polite, gracious humans. Unfortunately, my one daughter-in-law didn’t grow up similarly. She NEVER says thank you to me for any gift ever received, and she hasn’t taught her children to be gracious either. My grandchildren are still quite young, and they are very loving and sweet with me. But even at that age, they should learn to say thank you and show appreciation.
I’ve talked to my son about it and he agrees with me. I see him do his best with his kids, but his wife brushes him off, saying its fine and they’ll learn in time. But they won’t if they’re not taught AND they don’t see their parent doing it.
My sister and I talk about it all the time because she’s having the same issue with her grandchildren. How can we impart our wisdom to these young people without being dismissed by their parents?
Ungrateful
Your son is not dismissing you, and in fact, agrees with you. It’s unfortunate that his wife is not on side, especially because an ungrateful adult is not a remarkable trait. But you can’t change her.
Agree with your son that the children will show gratitude towards you, and if they don’t, you have every right to educate them in a healthy, kind manner. Perhaps when people comment on how sweet and appreciative her children are, your daughter-in-law will thank you for your life lessons.
My partner is a Negative Nelson. He sees the world from a dark and hopeless place. He literally wakes up in the morning angry. He’s angry constantly, but lately it’s been getting worse.
We live in a beautiful home in the country. From our bed, you can see trees covered in snow for miles. It’s a winter wonderland of beauty. I wake up and can’t help but smile at the scenery.
Not him. He sees snow and thinks snow-blowing and shovelling. When he goes down for breakfast, if the fridge is too full, he slams the door closed complaining he can’t find anything. If we’ve run out of eggs, he complains that he must get a few fresh ones from the chicken coop.
Living in the country was his idea! I just think he’s depressed and negative. But how can I talk to him about this?
No Happiness
I believe that people are affected by their life experience. If your husband had negativity ingrained into him when he was young, it may now be part of his DNA. There’s no way that a full fridge can make a person miserable, so there MUST be something else going on with your husband.
I’m sure you’ve tried talking with him, but if you haven’t, you should. If he’s unwilling or unable to talk to you, suggest he speak with a therapist who could help him identify what it is that’s upsetting him.
Many people project their anger and unhappiness on to the people they love, or other areas of their lives that aren’t the problem. It’s easier than trying to delve deep and fix the issues. But your husband really needs to dig deep or he’s going to push away the people he loves, mainly you, with his negativity.
However, if he refuses, and you don’t want to live under his gloom and doom, you don’t have to. It’s your life too.
FEEDBACK Regarding the birthday Grinch (Sept. 23):
Reader – “My parents had me in 1950 and got married a week before my birth. At that time, it was a disgrace and my other family members weren’t allowed to acknowledge me. My parents never told me why l was shunned; both are deceased.
“When I turned 25, my mother’s sister told me why I was ostracized. No one was allowed to show up at my christening. I hate my birthday; it just brings back sorrow and isolation. I prefer to leave town on my birthday and treat myself.
“Maybe this husband has a childhood trauma that surfaces on his birth date. No counselling can heal my wound. I was made fun of and still wonder if I was loved or an inconvenience. I’m a senior now and the pain lingers; when I see a picture of myself as a sweet blonde child sitting with Santa, I can’t believe how I was treated.”