I’m 32, married to a wonderful man. 

This year, we started trying to expand our family and things haven’t gone as planned. My husband has a low sperm count and conceiving a child has been a struggle. I love him very much and would never leave him because of this.

At my office holiday party, I had too much to drink and I went home with a co-worker. We slept together and the guilt I feel is overwhelming. Worse, I’m pregnant.

I’m assuming it’s my co-worker’s baby but I can’t be 100% sure.

I’m struggling with telling my husband because I know this would crush him. Would it be best for me to pretend it’s a miracle and tell him we’re having a baby together?

- Pregnant and Ashamed

The truth will out, whether it’s another co-worker guessing and gossiping, the real father figuring it out and blabbing, the child eventually looking just like him, or your own guilt speaking. Hubby will eventually know and react. 

You must tell him, now, and ask if he wants DNA testing done – or you’ll “crush” him even more when he eventually realizes he was doubly cheated.

It’s also unfair to the child for you to raise him/her without knowing what the true medical history might be.

Your husband may be wonderful enough to try to understand why you got drunk and strayed – you’ve been under pressure and repeatedly disappointed while trying to conceive.

You may need counselling together for a while as it may take time for him to fully forgive you.

OR, this could be a deal-breaker. That’s the risk you took when you agreed (you apparently weren’t passed out or abducted) to go to another man’s home.

My daughter’s become difficult lately, under the influence of a classmate who has attitude already at age six! She’s often rude, and openly talks back to her mother, when she picks her up. 

What should I do?

- Worried

Be firm but loving about your own “rules” on attitude and rudeness, and doing as told. 

Explain that other parents may allow different behaviour, but you’re the mommy she has, and there are behaviours you don’t accept.

Have age-appropriate consequences for misbehaving, like limited time-outs and losing privileges for brief periods.

Also, invite over some of her other friends for play dates.

-I’ve always been super-close to my friends, until recently. 

Last year, one of my three brothers passed away in July and another in November.

When my first brother died, my friends were there for me and supportive. Then, my other brother fell ill and was hospitalized for two weeks before he died.

I expected to see my friends by my side. This was not the case. I felt alone and hurt.

Am I wrong for not wanting anything to do with them ever again?

- Questioning Friendship

Too little information – not only for me but for yourself. 

Did you ask why your closest friends didn’t show? Possible valid reasons: They already travelled to be at the first funeral and couldn’t afford the time or money to be at the second.

They had pressing family plans, or business demands at that time.

Or, something happened at the first funeral that made them feel they weren’t that needed.

Don’t let your grief at your loss negate these friendships out of hand. Ask questions, and speak up about how you feel. Longtime close friends deserve a chance to explain and/or apologize.

I’m 16 and really like a girl in my school but I don’t know how to get her to like me. 

I’m too shy to start talking to her. How can I stop being shy so I can talk to her?

Whenever I see her it feels like I’m frozen. I want to ask her out on a date to see a movie with me.

- Shy Teen

Practice. Talk to a trusted friend, sibling, or your parents, about your shyness. Almost everyone has felt that way about starting to date, so most will understand. 

Try out different ways to start a conversation, but don’t begin with asking her out. Listen to the feedback from your “audience” and get comfortable with talking about common things, such as a class you share, a project or a school sports event coming up.

Hold the movie suggestion until after you’re both relaxed just chatting together.