When my husband and I met, five years ago, he was estranged from his father because of control issues, "creepiness" and stalking. For our recent wedding, I urged reconciliation.    
      However, my father-in-law’s view of sexuality is off-putting to my husband and me. He jokes about a wife "paying" her husband for household jobs in "ways he likes best.”     
      He speaks of having enjoyed prostitutes when travelling to the Philippines, and used to encourage my husband to go with him. During their estrangement, my father-in-law visited the Philippines several times and now is engaged.     
      His fiancée is a "Cherry Blossom," the name of the organization through which he met several women.     
      I feel this engagement smacks of coercion. I long to ask my father-in-law whether he’ll consider moving to the Philippines, in case his wife’s visa application is denied.     
      I’m concerned about her family who’ll never see their daughter. My husband’s also disturbed that his future "step-mother" is so young (40 years younger than my father-in-law).    
      What do we say, if anything, to my father-in-law? We think he should refrain from making sexual remarks that evoke the idea of paid sexual favours, because it won't be gracious to his wife, and because we believe in sex as a free, mutual expression of esteem between loving partners.
      - Annoyed

There’s little you can say about the marriage plan that won’t just show disapproval and risk renewed estrangement. Instead, consult with someone whose opinion your father-in-law respects.      
      Some may think his second chance at married happiness is his own business, but others might, like you, want to warn him from making a potential mistake, based either on the vast age difference or what you suspect is “coercion.”    
      What you CAN comment on is his inappropriate sexual remarks to you and Hubby. Cut him short when these arise and tell him he’s sounding like an old geezer – something he might be sensitive to these days. No need to get on a high horse … just say you’re not listening to his nonsense beliefs from the Dark Ages.

When my husband and I got married 35 years ago, we felt uncomfortable in the company of other couples who bickered publicly.     
      We made an agreement never to interrupt each other and jump in to finish each others’ stories, never to sigh and say, “Oh, not that story again” (though one of us might’ve heard it many times, it might still be new to the listeners), and never to interrupt each others’ stories with corrections about details that weren’t significant.     
      We’ve stuck to this over the years and it’s worked very well for us. Friends and family don’t care about the fine details such as when something happened and who said what. And most of us don’t want to be cast in the unsolicited and uncomfortable role of audience for another couple’s bickering performance.
      - Hopefully Helpful

Thanks, on behalf of all my readers, for sharing your success tip. Not only is bickering uncomfortable for those trapped into listening to it, it’s damaging to a couple’s communication and mutual respect.    
      As TV’s Dr. Phil has famously repeated, “Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?” Dwelling on the details instead of the message, correcting each other unnecessarily, arguing over truly small stuff, and expressing putdowns, all distance people from each other.
      Eventually, the flaws in the union itself become glaringly obvious. Sometimes, they can’t be corrected at all.

I recently discovered my boyfriend of five years cheated on me five times (not all sexual); I’d originally only heard about one incident. We broke up for six months but I can't stop thinking about him.    
      He wants me back and promises it’ll never happen again. He says he admitted ALL the times he cheated, though he didn’t have to, because he wanted to stop lying. Should I give him a second chance? I really love him.
      - Confused

This would be his sixth chance, which has YOU behaving as the Saint, and HIM in the role of Serial Sinner, not just a guy who made a mistake. His self-serving, “I didn’t have to admit to all,” sounds like a plea bargain, not real remorse.      
      Take a longer break, without any contact between you. Date others. Then, consider whether he’s worth the risks and stress of trying to trust him again.