My girlfriend is smokin’ hot. I apologize if you think that’s sexist, but it’s the truth. I don’t think it’s sexist, but you might. I like her a lot for a multitude of reasons, AS WELL AS her gorgeous face and body. She’s smart, funny, interesting and makes me laugh. We do a lot of activities together and always have a good time.

My problem is twofold: one, she really doesn’t know what to do with that gorgeous body of hers. I’m not looking for porn star activity, I just want a little movement in the bed. She just lies there, stiff. And two, she makes this unattractive contortive facial expression whenever we are having sex. It’s really a turn off.

Help!

Smokin’ Gun

Oh boy! I’m sorry, I’m not sure I can really help you. All I can say is that when two people are engaged in consensual sexual activity and like each other enough to be doing what they’re doing, they should also be comfortable enough to talk. If you’d like your girlfriend to move her hips, or her arms, or any other part of her body, talk to her about it.

As for her facial expression, this will be even trickier because I have no doubt, she is completely unaware. You could try talking to her about it, but I think this is more of a you problem. You need to get over it.

I have been crushing on this guy at work for about three months. I get moments where I think he notices me, and where I think he may have some feelings too. I have tried twice to approach him, but I always come up short. I even think he almost approached me, but then a colleague approached him about something work-related and the moment was gone.

Yesterday, after talking to my roommate, I decided I had the strength and was going to ask him out for lunch. I walked into our café and found him in an awkward embrace with another colleague. Thankfully, it was nearly lunch, so no one noticed when I left abruptly and took every minute of break to calm myself down.

Now I’m dead embarrassed and don’t know how to handle this situation.

Awkward Office

As this was a very timely question, I responded privately to the writer, but she agreed to let me publish her question and my response.

I told her to hold her head up high and walk back into that office and get right back to her work. At this exact moment, she has no idea what kind of embrace that was. Maybe that woman had tripped, and he caught her from falling. Maybe they’re cousins leaning on each other for familial support. Maybe they’ve just had their first kiss. Who knows?

Also, neither of them has any idea what your intention was when you opened the door to the café, and both probably assume you were hoping to make yourself a coffee or pick up a snack from the fridge. There is absolutely no reason for her to feel anything outward, such as embarrassment, other than she may have walked in on something illicit (is the other woman in a relationship?).

Let go of your crush, pretend he’s married and unattainable, and move on. It looks like your hopeful “moments” where you thought he may have feelings are unfounded. Move on. I know it’s easier said than done, especially if you work in the same office together, but it’s doable. Go home, cry to your roommate, get it all out. And I repeat, move on.

FEEDBACK Regarding Nervous Nelly (June 26):
Reader – “What is the worse that could happen?  That it doesn’t work out.  What if it does? You’ll never know unless you try.

“Que Sera, Sera; what will be, will be.”

FEEDBACK Regarding religiously opposed (June 27):
Reader – “I think these girls are being extremely disrespectful to the girlfriend’s parents by carrying on in a relationship that they would not approve of under their own roof. As a parent, I would be extremely hurt that they flagrantly carried on and undermined my values by pretending to be friends in my house and deceiving the family. This could cause serious trust issues for years.

“They need to stop the sleepovers immediately and learn to stop being so selfish and be respectful of the parents’ values and rules.”

Lisi – I agree that the level of disrespect is high, and that if discovered it could have serious consequences for everyone involved.