I've known this guy for a very long time. We recently reconnected after many years of no contact. There's been talk about us going out for a meal together... not sure if that's a date or not. My hunch is that it's a date, though.

He asked me when he was drunk one night, and then proceeded to not bring it up. Then I messaged him and he brought it up again with a specific place he wishes to go. A week passed and not a word of it.

I messaged him again and he brought it up again. We've yet to make concrete plans but it seems he's interested in going out. Things seem to be going a bit slow. Every time I message him (only twice) I do not raise going out, it's always him who mentions it. Yet he never messages me.

I'm not sure what his intentions are at the moment.

Confused

It's VERY clear that his intentions - whatever they are - are in no hurry. So you should stop focusing on this...."a meal" may mean a date, or it may mean eating dinner together as friends.

Also, if you want to have a chance at dating him, stop messaging him. This guy does things in his own time. Right now, he's not pushing forward. Back off. He'll come after you if he wants to see you.

I'm 50, with a great family, great job, and nice home. I've been single for four years and finally met a man (same age) for whom I have feelings.

He's in deep debt, cannot afford to pay his support for three kids, creditors after him, lost his license, and works hard at a very low-paying job.

He's always coming up with "get rich quick schemes" that are absolutely ridiculous with not a hope of succeeding. They all fail.

I love this guy and the companionship but it's wearing on me. He's crippling me financially. Yet I'm tired of trying to meet decent men. Should I stay or take my chances of meeting someone else?

Unsure

You must set firm boundaries - as in, he loses his own money on these schemes, or, lacking funds, sticks to a steady job.

STOP backing him, and don't support him in your home if he can't contribute at all. You'll come to resent him terribly.

Your "feelings" may partly come from enjoying being so needed. But the more he takes from you - and loses - the less his needs will appeal. Give it a year - no more if there's no change.

My father just passed away suddenly, and my older sister's already trying to take as much as she can from his home. Our mother passed eight years ago and dad kept the silver, fine dishes, and antiques just where she had them.

They both had always said everything was to be divided equally between us. His will says that, but without any specifics. What do I do?

Upset

The lawyer for the will likely knows what was your father's full meaning. She/he will also advise you on how to assess the value of the items so you can make sure there's a fair distribution.

Meanwhile, document all the things you can, even if she's already taken some. Then, try to first talk to your sister with understanding that everyone grieves differently, and her reaction may be part of her feelings of loss.

But insist that you'll both best honour your parents' memory by dealing with this equitably and civilly.

I was molested by an employer, 43, when I was 15. It was unwanted and unwelcome. I reported it to the company, met with internal investigators, and they promptly gave him an extremely generous compensation package and swept it under the rug.

Several months later, the company tanked and hundreds of people were let go with nothing. I know I was not the first and last child he touched, and I was so angry that he left with so much, when others eventually left with so little.

However, I am so glad I was open about it. He eventually died of a major heart attack, alone, and I'm glad he can't hurt anybody else.

Past But Not Forgotten

You were brave, wise, and thoughtful to speak up about the molestation, hopefully saving others from a similar trauma since his company's termination may have caused him to think twice another time.