My daughter, 30, is living with a guy who’s in the country illegally, and she’s pregnant by him. He’s a nice person, but has less education than her and can only get part-time jobs doing manual labour for cash pay, with no benefits.
She’s got a decent contract job in her field, but also with no maternity leave or other benefits. They act as if there’s nothing wrong with this situation.
I’m afraid that their only plan is to rely on me for total support when she has the baby and stops working! 

- Worried Mom

Get them to an immigration lawyer, fast – and be clear that after that, they’re on their own.
They need to know what’s required for him to become a legal immigrant, your daughter’s obligations to him if she sponsors him, and the financial responsibilities of both to their child.
If you’re able to afford helping out with the baby, you won’t let them become destitute… but make no offers that take the onus off them to find their own solutions, and push for answers.

I’m a gay male, 39, monogamous by nature. I previously developed several co-dependent friendships: spending a lot of time together without body contact nor sexual intimacy. Yet, I feel I deserve physical relationships, too.
I found a wonderful single guy online – he’s 30 and says he’s monogamous and sensitive. We exchanged emails for six months, finally met one month ago, when I moved to the same city. We’ve gotten together every week for chatting, and spent one great weekend traveling together, without physical contact.
I’ve made indirect comments about wanting “more” than a soul-mate; he doesn’t respond. How long should I pursue him for more?
I don’t want to be stuck in the same pattern where I’ve given too much but didn’t get what I want: a real and fulfilling relationship. 

- Insecure about Bold Moves

Speak up, rather than “pursue.”
It’s fair play to state that you hope for a relationship that eventually includes a physical side. If he’s not of a similar mind, he’s free to say so.
However, if this guy still doesn’t respond, then you may be unwittingly choosing people who take advantage of your insecurity. If so, consider counselling to help you explore why you’re a Giver who’s attracted to Takers.

I’m 14, an only child who’s parents are driving me insane because they’re so controlling. My friends get to do so much more than I’m allowed.
We argue a lot (especially me and my Dad). There’s so much pressure to do well at school. I get pretty good marks, but whenever I get an A it’s like I HAVE to keep getting these marks.
I’m avoiding spending time with my parents, and catching the later train home. 

- Need Help in Australia

At 14, the early train home is still on the right track for you.
Lucky girl, to have parents who care enough to want to know what you’re doing, and set limits on what’s permissible.
Lucky, too, to have the achievement bar set high so you’ll keep getting those good marks, which are your passport to greater things ahead – like university, learning about things that really matter to you, and meeting new people from different places.
Most important, by fulfilling the responsibilities that your parents expect of you, you’ll create the trust and greater independence you seek.
Have patience, and you’ll eventually find some of your friends wishing they’d been similarly directed by their parents. 

I’m 18, in first year University; recently my whole family seems on edge.
My mom seems to blame my dad for everything; he loses his temper really easily.
My brother’s learning Dad’s habit of losing his cool.
I feel this environment’s becoming toxic. I believe my mom’s unsatisfied with everything in her life, and fear I’m becoming like that. 

- What Can I Do?

Recognize that university is an eye-opening experience – you see your parents objectively, perhaps for the first time. But be wary of making judgments, since they, too, are experiencing changes, as their children grow up.
You want more independence, so the old environment is less comforting. Treat these feelings as natural, not a sign of everything going wrong.
You have the choice to be yourself, not “like Mom.”
Whenever things seem unsatisfying, try to look at the glass of possibilities before you, as being half-full… then seek positive solutions.