I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half, mostly long distance. We’re wonderful as lovers and best friends.

We listen to each other's side of a conflict, and find a solution together. We're still young (he's 23, I'm 20) and inexperienced, but we see a future together.

But I'm worried that distance will take a toll. He has four more years of medical school, possibly more in residency. I have two more years of university, two to four years more following.

We’re both in demanding programs and won't have much time for each other. Travelling’s expensive and time-consuming.

He’s always busy with something and I feel left out of his life. I don't know how we can do it for four more years.

Worried Girlfriend

You have enough going for you as a couple to make every effort to carry on as such. Others have surmounted the distance issue and, it’s having demanding preoccupations that can make it work.

However, you both need to avoid feeling “left out,” and focus on staying connected through every means possible – email, Skype, and each of you paying the cost of a visit whenever possible. Love is worth it.

Spoiler alert: Sometimes, the pressure is too great and a hiatus will happen – someone will be bogged down with work, and maybe even distracted by another person (especially because you’re both young, and insecurity feelings can cause a misstep).

If you two have a strong bond and a mutual long-term goal, you can even rise above those hardest times. Stop worrying ahead, and give it your best.

Over the past18 months, my grandmother had passed away (first major death in the family), my sister married and had a child, and I experienced romantic love for the first time.

However, several months later, my mother passed away after a sudden, short battle with cancer. I took it very hard, suffered panic attacks, anxiety, and then a depression.

A month later, my girlfriend broke up with me (for her own reasons) which left me in a devastated emotional state. I contemplated suicide several times and struggled to find motivation.

Meanwhile, my ex still wanted to be friends. I told her I needed a lot of time. I found it difficult to even look at her, as I’d loved her a lot.

How do I forgive her (she feels there's nothing to forgive)? Is it worth trying to stay friends with her?

How do I move past such a horrible and dark year when I was only 20?

I've been getting counselling. I want to push myself in a positive direction and leave the past behind me.

Year From Hell

Stay with the counselling, there’s a lot of grief still to talk out, and that’s normal with the major losses you had so close together.

Go slow on the friendship with your ex… maybe just phone conversations from time to time, until you and your counsellor feel you can handle seeing her. Do not re-hash the break-up.

Agree only to be amicable, not close confidantes. She wants friendship so she doesn’t feel badly about how she ended things. If that’s not comfortable for you, take a longer break in contact.

Seeking advice is already a positive sign that you can, and will, move forward. If your thoughts turn dark again, call a distress-line immediately, and connect with people who care about you – family and true friends. If depression returns, see a doctor to discuss if medication’s warranted.

My wife had hip replacement surgery recently and feels she’ll never get back to “herself.” The doctor says she will, if she follows the ongoing physiotherapy routine he advised.

Instead, she hangs around the house, and finds fault with everything including me. I have my own troubles, having been laid off and looking for work.

We’re stuck at home together, and it’s a negative environment. How can we turn it around when everything looks bleak?

Double Troubles

Get pro-active out of the house. Do your job search through a career-counselling centre where you can use their computer system, and use your local library’s computer area for further research. Then, knock on doors in person.

Help your wife find a physio program close to home so she can get there more easily.

When together, watch favourite upbeat movies, play music you both love, and keep things simple – fewer chores, simple cooking of healthy foods.