I'm 20, male, and confused about the role of women in my life.

An injury at 17 changed my perspectives. I started questioning what’s considered normal nowadays, between men and women.
I feel disconnected from women my age. It seems that the expectation is to find someone to fulfill one’s own physical desires, with the least amount of attachment possible.

What happened to getting married young?

Why is this looked upon as foolish, while dating until your 40, isn't?

There’s a definite bias among young women and men about that.

How do I build a relationship with a woman, without turning her away when I tell her that I'm looking for a wife?

Confused Seeker

You’re a self-reflective and mature guy, so you’re unlikely to marry the minute you just like a girl.

Don’t over-worry about seeking committed love for the long-term rather than a short-term sexual playmate. Many young women would find that very endearing.

However, chatting too soon about seeking a “wife” can be off-putting. It makes women feel pressured, like they’re auditioning for a part instead of you two just getting to know each other.

So no need to rush every new connection by stating your goal at the start.

It’s not dishonest… you’ll soon know whether you share some interests, and can then talk about your goals.

But be aware that the idea of dating can also be intimidating, and that’s what may be causing you to over-think what it all means.

Start with finding people you like to talk to or be with, and don’t label it “dating,” rather, making a friend. If there’s mutual attraction, the rest will fall into place.

My mother recently asked why I didn’t make a donation in my deceased-aunt’s name for a charity run my sister was participating in.
My sister sent an email blast to a number of people, posted repeatedly on Facebook. She didn’t phone asking me to donate or participate. Nor ask if she could drop by to pick up a cash donation.
I’m a mom of three, the youngest is five with ADHD, I run a home-based business, and often work evenings. I don't entertain myself on Facebook, shop, or play games.

I also don't feel I have to justify how I spend my money to my mother or anyone else. I make donations to this charity, anonymously during the rest of the year, as well as other cancer- related charities.
Was my mother out of line for asking me why I didn't donate? Should she have been calling if my sister was so hurt by my lack of a donation?

I feel that to whom I donate money is none of anyone's business, just like my income and for whom I vote.

Charitable and Private

I’m hoping now that you vented, you feel better… because I suspect nothing’s new here in your relationships with Mom and Sis.

You feel overworked and undervalued. It may be true, but it’s hard for others to relate to another’s stresses, and you certainly have some.

Your mother meddled because your sister felt you should’ve donated. If there are often expectations and disappointments between you, it’s not unusual among siblings. You may even contribute in some way or another.

But nothing terrible went on. Tell your mother you already contribute to that charity. Tell your sister too, directly, and congratulate her on the run.

And by the way, your mother may be missing your aunt, which also might’ve affected her call (especially if they had a sibling dynamic she’s thinking about).

I’m late-30s. When younger, I made mistakes regarding a boyfriend of whom my mother disapproved.

Due to constant battle, I ended the ten-year relationship, feeling that family support was necessary.

I often wonder if I did the right thing. I married another and divorced due to domestic violence.

I still hear about those past fights and arguments my mother and I had. She’s constantly dredging up the past, which I’m so tired of hearing.

She won’t let it go. How do I address this so that our relationship’s about moving forward?

Hurting

She’s unlikely to change. But you can. Worrying about that boyfriend has you in the past, too. That’s why you’re hurting.

I suggest getting counselling to help you focus on the present and future. Once you look forward, you’ll be able to tell your mom that you’re not going to listen. Then change topic, or walk away.