I’m getting married next year; my parents are both divorced and remarried, they all get along and are sharing the wedding costs. However, my fiancé and I have been planning our wedding for years and know exactly what we want.
My parents have very strong personalities and are making many decisions, such as inviting their friends, choosing the venue and caterer. All I care about is the getting married part, but my fiancé is very angry that we’re making so many concessions.
I’m stuck in the middle trying to create peace. How do I get my parents to stop being so bossy and get the groom to allow them to make some decisions, considering it’s their money?
- The Buffer

During your years of planning, you hopefully also saved some money . . . if so, pay for the wedding aspects most important to you. But if not, you both have a weak position from which to argue. Nevertheless, most parents usually understand that it’s not a great time to alienate the groom.
Tell them that they’re ruining the atmosphere for a celebration meant to honour you two more than them. Then, say what you most want changed. If they refuse …  ELOPE. It’s the only assurance you’ll have for an independent union, now and after the wedding.

When my boyfriend's mother learned he was planning on moving in with me, she decided to return to Canada and stay in his apartment (which they’d shared when she lived here).
He explained that she’d be living there by herself and responsible for the rent. She agreed, then suggested we stay with her until we found a place. She kept us there by claiming she couldn't afford the rent, and refused to help with any bills despite that she earned more than us then. She also constantly criticized me.
After eight months, we moved out. His mother told him she hated me. I haven't seen or spoken to her since (18 months), despite several attempts on our part.
We married a year ago - when visiting my family in the U.S. we went to the clerk and recorder's office and signed the marriage certificate. She’s told my husband our marriage is illegitimate because we weren't married in a church. She’s told her whole family nasty stories about me. They invite my husband to family get-togethers, never me.    
I want my husband to do something, but he doesn't know what to do. How can we make this strained in-law relationship better?
- Hurt, Angry, Excluded

Focus first on making the marriage better. Hubby needs to stand up for you, telling all that the civil wedding was his idea, too. He must insist that you be invited along with him, or he refuses to attend.
You can forgive his past lapses, as he’s been raised by a woman who poisons situations when she doesn’t get her own way. But his future is with you, and this mother-in-law is toxic to your relationship.
The only thing that might ever improve the issue is by showing her the consequences of her behaviour – the threat of losing her son and any grandchildren she might have through you.

Feedback – On Gifts for Children: “In Denmark, children create their own wish list that parents pass on to friends and relatives for birthdays and Christmas. A family could let people know that the children love to go to the Zoo and would appreciate entrance tickets – maybe even including the giver.”

My boyfriend of 11 months and I bought a property together and signed a contract for the house. I’ll cover the down payment ($80,000). He borrowed $30,000 from me to pay off his divorce debt. I want a cohabitation agreement: If we separate, I’ll get the $80,000, plus we divide the equity equally. I’m feeling insecure about our relationship and don’t know how to approach him. What if he refuses?
- Just Stressed

Get a lawyer’s advice about what to expect without a cohabitation agreement. That should move you to raise the topic firmly and more accurately (e.g. you want the down payment back, then split the difference of the equity’s value).
Also, ask him for a promissory note about the $30,000. If denied, record the date and amount of the loan and copy the evidence of its withdrawal from your account. If he refuses an agreement, you likely will need that lawyer!