After a 10-year relationship - including engaged for two years and living together until we amicably broke up a year ago – I’ve been dating someone new for the last two months. She has never asked me about my previous relationships although she knows I have an ex.

Do I mention the fact I was previously engaged, or do I leave that in the past since it didn’t come to fruition? I don’t know if she’s comfortable talking about my past but I feel she should know, and sooner rather than later.

How does one go about bringing it up?

- Happy in the Present

A “secret” 10-year past relationship will explode it into an elephant-sized barrier between you, once discovered. You MUST tell her, right away. Start with the present, and your feelings for her… she’ll need a fair bit of stroking about how happy you are, before you explain why you’ve kept this information quiet.

Though you haven’t dated her long, it’s more common dating behaviour to be upfront about the major relationships of the past - and an engagement of two years certainly qualifies as major.

Be honest about the reasons you broke up and whether you and your ex have any contact, or continuing mutual interest… anything from furniture she still has of yours or a dog that she visits at your place, should be revealed.

I love the gentleman I’m living with and want to be his wife, but not for the benefits of his monetary value.

His monetary value is something he may feel he needs to protect as he’s now divorced (I didn’t cause this) and he lost some of what he has worked long and hard for.

We “clicked” when we met, having both been in a bad place. He ended up moving in with a friend but, since spending time with me and due to my need for a roommate, moved in with me.

Now we live in a home that he purchased. We share household bills.

I told him from the get go that I wasn’t interested in marriage. I only wanted fun.

Now I’m wondering if I’m allowed to change my “wants” and not cause him to turn away, as he might feel that I fooled him.

What should my course of action be? He has a lot going on in his life right now as far as stress goes and I don’t want to add to his concerns.

- Want More

Proceed cautiously, and try not to mention his “monetary value” again.

It seems obvious that you’ve adjusted from fun-loving to appreciating the man, PLUS the comforts he can provide (which is why you mentioned it).

But if his stress is high and he was attracted to your formerly carefree spirit, this is not the best time to pressure him.

Yet, you must start to speak of your feelings for him, so your later admission of a “turnaround” won’t take him by surprise.

And start dropping hints that you’re becoming interested in a committed relationship, so that you are NOT fooling him. Let him absorb what you’re trying to get across, without you demanding a response.

You’ll know soon enough whether he feels the same way.

How long should a widower be grieving, or can I ask him for a date after a year?

- Unsure

The grieving period is his choice. Suggesting having a coffee together is yours.

Anything more is intrusive, unless he reaches out to you.

I’m 15, in high school; I’ve had a boyfriend for four months. When I told my parents, they cried because they’d wanted me to wait until I’m 18. Now they won’t let me out of their sight.

I’m a good student and want to go to college, but they think I’ll get pregnant.

I think they’re overreacting and blaming each other.

How do I convince them to let me see him? They don’t even want to meet him.

- Stressed

They’re worried about you. To win back their trust, let things settle a bit by following their rules. Once your folks see that you’re not in total rebellion, talk to them reassuringly about your plans for college, plus your own “no baby” policies (only abstinence from sex or strict birth control are reasonable responses).

If they relax, ask them to meet your guy; otherwise, you’ll have put your relationship on hold.