I'm a male, 33, my girlfriend of one year is 36. We want to live together. However, my parents are very religious and I fear being "terrorized" by them for wanting to live with her.
They're constantly prying on my private life and I feel I can't do anything about it.
Anonymous
Until you "do something," the move will be doomed, not just by your parents' interference, but also by your own lack of backbone and independence.
Move out on your own. You need to make that break alone first, or your girlfriend will be seen and treated as the "bad influence" who snared you away.
Rent a small place for one year to establish your own locale and make the point that you're an adult responsible for your own life. Your girlfriend can join you later or you can move together to a larger place.
If your parents "terrorize you," get a restraining order against them. Meanwhile make sure you're NOT dependent on them for anything, so that your bid for independence has teeth.
I'm 19, and have been with my boyfriend, 21, for seven months. I love him and we pride ourselves on having a very honest relationship. Today, on the phone, we began a game of asking each other very personal, intimate questions (i.e. was your last boyfriend's penis larger than mine? Which girlfriend pleased you the most sexually? Etc.).
Then came the bombshell. After I admitted that my last boyfriend hadn't pleased me sexually and that I often faked orgasms, he asked if I'd ever faked it with him. I responded honestly, and said that I had once, the first time we were intimate.
But I said that was the only time, and that immediately after I had an orgasm. (I'd been scared that I wouldn't orgasm on our first time - filled with so many expectations - and didn't want to disappoint him.)
Now he's upset and hurt because he feels as though he was lied to, and that our first magical moment was a facade. I don't know what I should do to make it better. I should've just kept my mouth shut. What do I do?
Wrong Answer
Only kids can play stupid games and come away laughing. Wise up and learn not to get caught again, especially in sexual comparisons with ex'es, how many partners you've had, and this biggie about faking it.
Next time, "I adore you, and our sex life is perfect," is the only answer worth giving.
However, your boyfriend's overreacting. He wanted honesty (more for penis pride than about your satisfaction, I'll bet) got it, and needs to move on.
If the two of you count orgasms as the measure of your relationship, and can't get past this minor glitch, you should both be moving on.
The co-worker who sits next to me in a crowded office has dark hair on her face and doesn't seem to know anything about tweezers. I find it hard to talk to her without staring at her moustache. I'm personally very well-groomed and actually feel disgusted by her lack of caring. How can I tell her to clean up her looks without offending her?
Smooth-faced
The Queen of Grooming needs to brush up on social I.Q. Fact: You must befriend a person before you tell them how to look. Otherwise you're just a busybody with attitude. And your comments would be insulting enough to warrant complaints to your supervisor.
My son, 13, keeps texting me from school that he hates his math teacher. He's been saying for a while that this teacher is "out to get" him, is harsh with him in class, etc.
My son's math marks are not bad at all, so I'm unsure whether he's just exaggerating and whether I should confront the teacher personally. I don't want to appear foolish or have my son truly become a target.
If there's no absolute NEED for a phone at school, take it away. Or, tell him to stop texting you during classes, except for emergencies. Then insist that you two handle any important discussions in person.
Ask what makes him believe the teacher is against him, how come his marks still seem fair, etc.
If you're still unsure, speak to the teacher personally as if you are concerned about your son and his efforts. His reaction will tell you more.
Tip of the day:
If you rely on parents financially, it's hard to insist you can do what you like.