I have a semi-professional relationship with a beautiful, smart woman who’s everything I’ve been looking for. We’re at an age beyond having children, and that’s not an issue. But, she claims to be a “cougar,” preferring younger men.
She’s been dating a younger black man (we’re both white), for a year, but seems to not be getting anywhere with this relationship. She also claims to be done with dating white men.
She has no idea of my feelings for her. I wouldn’t have considered a possibility with her until I’d recently lost 60 pounds. But I don’t know how to approach her without damaging a friendship and our business relationship.
I feel I might have a chance until I see a ring on her finger. Should I verbally tell her how much I love her, or convey it through my actions? 

- Eager but Scared

Enjoy the friendship, but don’t risk it; hold back on expressing anything more, either verbally or through gestures.
She’s been clear on her preferences. Not having a ring doesn’t mean there’s an open door to her affections – she’s independent-minded and likely not seeking conventional aspects of relationships.
Your enthusiasm over losing weight is naturally (and healthfully) boosting your self-image and desire for new personal connections. Be open to meeting other women, and focus on those who are available, rather than building a fantasy over someone who’s drawn clear professional boundaries between you.

My boyfriend and I, both 22, have been in a loving relationship for four years. Neither of us wants to scare off the other with talk about marriage, but we both see a future together.
However, my boyfriend has Klinefelter’s Syndrome: he’s 0.4% fertile and has certain learning difficulties. Dealing with these difficulties is frustrating, but I’ve gotten much more patient over the years.
Essentially, I’d like to have kids in the future, and I hate that these chances are slim if I’m to spend the rest of my life with the man I love.

- Torn

While you’re both young enough to put off the “scary” talk of marriage, you’re also old enough to do in-depth research on his syndrome, to better understand what you’re facing if you decide to have a future together.
Both of you should eventually discuss with a specialist exactly what efforts and advances are being made regarding his chances of fertility; you should also ask yourselves what other options you’re willing to consider, such as your conceiving through a sperm donor, or you two adopting a child.
By thinking this through now, you’ll be building a sense of your true commitment to each other.

I’m a massage therapist in a spa, and many of my clients also see several estheticians.
Recently, some left to work elsewhere; it’s meant a big cut in my income. I’m torn between loyalty to the owner, or following the others, because of needing money for rent sooner than the guy can build new clientele.

- Uncertain and Anxious

Talk to the spa owner and explain your concerns. Ask how soon he expects to hire good replacement staff, and what measures he and you might take to attract new clients for all the services, including yours.
Alert him to your immediate income needs (he’ll have the same problem) and see if there are some terms you can negotiate (e.g. a higher salary percentage than you now receive).
If ultimately you feel forced to leave, at least you’ll have tried your best to be loyal. 

I’m 21 and never had a relationship with my maternal grandmother (their relationship included physical and emotional abuse). When her parents divorced, Mom lived with her dad.
In recent years, my mom and grandmother have been talking again.
More recently, my other grandmother passed; my maternal grandmother came to the funeral and wants to make up for missing 20 years of my life. I never heard from her on birthdays and holidays.
Now, I’m afraid of being hurt by her. How can I learn to forgive and let her be a part of my life?

- Untrusting

Learning forgiveness is part of learning committed love.
The past mother-daughter dysfunction likely made it impossible for your grandmother to reach out to you. Now that obstacle is gone, and you can discover the other side to your female heritage from strong-minded women.
Go slow, keep expectations realistic, and gain from the positives.